Are you a pet parent who’s obsessed with their furry companions? Do they bring you endless amounts of happiness and entertainment? If so, you’re in for a treat!
As someone who is head over heels for my own pets, I know firsthand how much humor adds to our lives with them. That’s why I’ve curated an exceptional list of 75 witty jokes about pets that will have any animal lover doubling over in laughter!
List of Jokes About Pets
1. Why did the dog go to school? Because it wanted to learn some “pawsitive” tricks!
2. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? A king mackerel!
3. Why did the cat bring a ladder to the bar? Because it heard the drinks were on the house!
4. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
5. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
6. What did the grape say when the dog stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little “wine”!
7. Why did the horse sit in the shade? Because it didn’t want to be a hot “trot”!
8. How do you make a goldfish grow? Take it out of the water and put it in the freezer!
9. Why did the rabbit become a comedian? Because it had some “hare”-raising jokes!
10. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark? A bird that talks your ear off and then eats you!
11. Why did the hamster become a detective? Because it heard there were some “mice” to solve!
12. How does a dog stop a video? It presses the “paws” button!
13. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
14. Why did the cat bring a ladder to the library? Because it wanted to reach the “purr”-chial section!
15. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
16. Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station!
17. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
18. Why did the bird join the circus? Because it had a few “tweet” tricks up its feathers!
19. How do you organize a space party for dogs? You “planet”!
20. What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator? A friend you can always count on!
21. Why don’t cats play poker in the wild? Too many cheetahs!
22. How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed? Your nose touches the ceiling!
23. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
24. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
25. How do you communicate with a fish? You drop it a line!
26. Why did the frog bring a suitcase to the party? Because it planned to “hop” on a plane afterward!
27. What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? Mice cream!
28. Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
29. How do bees get to school? By school buzz!
30. What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks? A labracadabrador!
31. Why did the turtle cross the road twice? To show the chicken it could be done!
32. What do you call a dog that can play the piano? A pianist!
33. Why did the cow go to outer space? To visit the Milky Way!
34. What do you call a bear with no teeth and no legs? A gummy bear on a stick!
35. Why don’t spiders play video games? Because they prefer the web!
36. How do you catch a squirrel with no nuts? Climb a tree and act like a cashew!
37. What do you call a dog that can sing opera? Poochini!
38. Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
39. How do you make a cat drink? Put it in the blender!
40. What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!
41. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!
42. How do you catch a rabbit? Hide behind a tree and make carrot noises!
43. What did one flea say to the other flea? Shall we walk or take the dog?
44. Why did the ant dance on the jam jar? Because the lid said “twist to open”!
45. How does a dog stop a DVD player? It presses the “paws” button!
46. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because it was outstanding in its field!
47. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
48. What do you get if you cross a cat and a parrot? A carrot!
49. Why don’t birds use cell phones? Because they already have “tweet”er!
50. How do you catch a runaway dog? Hide behind a tree and make a sound like a bone breaking!
51. What do you call a dog with no tail and no fur? A plucked chicken!
52. Why don’t elephants use computers? Because they are afraid of the mouse!
53. Why don’t sharks like fast food? Because they can’t catch it!
54. What do you call a cat that wears a wig? A “purr”-manent!
55. Why did the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
56. How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light a match!
57. Why don’t birds use computers? Because they already have “tweet”er!
58. How do you catch a rabbit with no ears? Unique!
59. What do you call a fish with no eyes, no tail, and no fins? A blob!
60. Why don’t spiders play baseball? Because they always get caught in the web!
61. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!
62. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nutcracker!
63. What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud!
64. Why did the cat take up knitting? It wanted to make its own “purr”-sonalized sweaters!
65. How do you organize a space party for dogs? You planet!
66. What do you call a dog that can do martial arts? A karate-pooch!
67. Why did the giraffe get bad grades in school? Because it had a lot of “neck”-glect!
68. How do you make a fish laugh? Tell it a whale of a joke!
69. What’s a frog’s favorite candy? Lollihops!
70. Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little “ant”-ibodies!
71. How do you know if a vampire bat has a cold? It starts to “vamp”ire!
72. What’s a dog’s favorite kind of pizza? Pupperoni!
73. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!
74. How do rabbits travel? By hareplane!
75. What do you call a pig that knows karate? Porkchop!
