Ah, onions. They’re practically a household name by now – an essential ingredient in almost any dish you can think of. But did you know that they’re also the butt of some pretty hilarious jokes? Love ’em or hate ’em, these top 75 onion jokes are guaranteed to have you doubled over with laughter.
It’s all about the timing and delivery when it comes to comedy, and this collection of clever puns and one-liners is sure to keep your funny bone tickled pink. So grab your tissues (for happy tears) as we take a deep dive into this list together!
List of Jokes About Onions
1. Why did the onion go to the gym? Because it wanted to get “peeled” and fit!
2. What do you call a sad onion? A tear-jerker!
3. Why don’t onions play baseball? Because they can’t make it to first base without getting “peeled”!
4. How do you make an onion laugh? You tickle its “funny bone”!
5. Why did the onion start a band? Because it had great “layers” of musical talent!
6. What do you call an onion that can sing? A sweet melodion!
7. Why do onions make terrible secret keepers? Because they always “leak” information!
8. What did the onion say to the garlic? “You smell ‘spicy’ today!”
9. How do you make an onion disappear? You give it some salsa and it becomes “incogni-onion”!
10. Why did the onion break up with the garlic? It couldn’t “stomach” its overpowering flavor!
11. What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey? An “onion bray”!
12. How do you describe a fancy onion? Classy, “sophis-ti-cated”!
13. Why did the onion go to the art gallery? To appreciate the “fine arts”!
14. What’s an onion’s favorite exercise? “Bulb” ups!
15. How does an onion propose to another onion? With an “engagement ring” made of onion rings!
16. Why did the onion become a detective? It wanted to “peel” back the layers of mystery!
17. What did the onion say when it won the lottery? “I’m absolutely ‘onion’ top of the world!”
18. How do onions send each other messages? Through “onion-grams”!
19. Why did the onion start a YouTube channel? To show off its “cooking chops”!
20. What’s an onion’s favorite dance move? The “salsa” step!
21. How do you make an onion cry? Tell it a “tear-ible” pun!
22. What’s an onion’s favorite kind of music? Rhythm and “blues”!
23. Why did the onion get into a fight with the bell pepper? Because it was “jalapeno” business!
24. How do you keep an onion from making you cry? Don’t share your emotional problems with it!
25. What do you call an onion that’s gone bad? A “rotten” onion!
26. Why did the onion refuse to jump into the stew? It didn’t want to end up “boiling” mad!
27. What do you call an onion who can’t stop crying? A “weeping” willow!
28. How do you greet an onion on its birthday? “Happy peel-day to you!”
29. Why did the onion become a comedian? It had a knack for delivering “onion-ring” jokes!
30. What do you call an onion that’s a great storyteller? A captivating “yarn”ion!
31. Why did the onion bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to be the “life of the onion”!
32. What did the onion say to the tomato at the salad bar? “Lettuce ‘ketchup’!”
33. How do you calm down an angry onion? You give it a “peel-good” pep talk!
34. What’s an onion’s favorite type of TV show? “Reality” cooking competitions!
35. Why did the onion go to the doctor? It was “stalking” about its health!
36. What do you call an onion that can solve math problems? An “alge-braey” onion!
37. How did the onion propose to the garlic? With a “onion-knot”!
38. Why did the onion go on a diet? It wanted to “shed” some layers!
39. What do you call a romantic onion? A true “onion-tic”!
40. How do you make an onion float? You tell it a “buoy-ant” story!
41. Why did the onion get promoted? Because it always added great “flavor” to the team!
42. What do you call an onion that’s a big fan of puzzles? A “crosswordion”!
43. How do you know an onion is lying? Its story doesn’t “hold water”!
44. Why was the onion crying at the movie theater? It got “emotional” during the romantic scenes!
45. What did one onion say to the other during a workout? “Sweat ‘onion’ the small stuff!”
46. Why did the onion start a gardening club? It wanted to cultivate “onion-ion” among plant enthusiasts!
47. How do you make an onion feel better? You “season” it with compliments!
48. What’s an onion’s favorite game? “Peeling” cards!
49. Why did the onion break up with the celery? It felt stalked and needed some “independence”!
50. How do you know an onion is angry? It’s “tearing” up the place!
51. What’s an onion’s favorite accessory? A “pearl” necklace!
52. Why did the onion go to the spa? To relax and get some “onion” therapy!
53. How do you stop an onion from crying during a sad movie? You show it a “peeling” comedy instead!
54. What do you call an onion that’s an expert at martial arts? A “black belt” onion!
55. Why did the onion take up knitting? It wanted to create “layered” clothing!
56. How do you compliment an onion’s fashion sense? “You really know how to ‘accessorize’!”
57. What did the onion say to the potato during a race? “I’m going to ‘peel’ ahead of you!”
58. Why did the onion start a bookstore? It wanted to share “onion-spiring” stories!
59. How do onions celebrate New Year’s Eve? They have a “countdown” to midnight onion drop!
60. What’s an onion’s favorite social media platform? “Snap-pea-chatter”!
61. Why did the onion go on a road trip? To “explore” new flavors and cuisines!
62. How do you comfort a lonely onion? You give it a “shoulder” to cry on!
63. What do you call an onion that’s a master of disguise? An “onion-ninja”!
64. Why did the onion enroll in cooking school? It wanted to become a “culinary” icon!
65. How do you make an onion smile? You tell it a “punny” joke!
66. What’s an onion’s favorite type of music venue? The “salsa” club!
67. Why did the onion go to the dentist? It had a “cavity” to fill!
68. What did the onion say to the bell pepper during a game? “I’m ‘onion’ a winning streak!”
69. How do onions keep their cool in hot weather? They hang out in the “shade” of tomato plants!
70. Why did the onion become a painter? It had a “brush” with creativity!
71. What do you call an onion that’s always grumpy? A “sour-onion”!
72. Why did the onion start a dance troupe? To show off its “onion-credible” moves!
73. How do you know an onion is a great storyteller? It always “reels” you in with its tales!
74. What did the onion say when it won the cooking competition? “I’m the ‘champ-peel-on’ of flavors!”
75. How do you measure an onion’s intelligence? By its “bunch” of knowledge!
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