75 Hilarious Jokes About New Year’s Resolutions That You Can’t Help But Laugh At

Get ready to start the year off right with a good belly laugh! Our latest article is jam-packed with 75 side-splitting jokes about New Year’s resolutions.

Say farewell to the anxiety that comes along with keeping up your goals and hello to giggle-inducing humor instead. These clever quips are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone while reminding you that we’re all in this together.

So kick back, unwind, and enjoy a little comic relief as we examine the highs and lows of making (and breaking) those darned resolutions. Pour yourself a cup of joe and let’s begin the year on a high note!

List of Jokes About New Year’s Resolutions

jokes about new year's resolutions

1. Why did the New Year’s resolution join a gym? Because it wanted to get in shape!
2. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the gym equipment? I’m committed to working out, but I’ll probably break up with you by February!
3. Why did the New Year’s resolution want to learn a new language? Because it wanted to impress people with its bilingual skills!
4. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the French language? Je suis determined to learn you!
5. Why did the New Year’s resolution start a diet? Because it wanted to lose some pounds and gain some self-control!
6. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the plate of cookies? You’re sweet, but I’m trying to stay strong!
7. Why did the New Year’s resolution take up painting? Because it wanted to brush up on its artistic skills!
8. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the paintbrush? Together, we can create a masterpiece!
9. Why did the New Year’s resolution want to travel more? Because it had a case of wanderlust!
10. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the suitcase? Let’s pack our bags and explore the world!
11. Why did the New Year’s resolution decide to save money? Because it wanted financial freedom!
12. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the shopping spree? Sorry, but I’m on a budget!
13. Why did the New Year’s resolution start reading more books? Because it wanted to expand its knowledge!
14. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the library? I’m here to check out some great stories!
15. Why did the New Year’s resolution want to learn how to play an instrument? Because it wanted to add some melody to its life!
16. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the piano? Let’s make beautiful music together!
17. Why did the New Year’s resolution decide to quit smoking? Because it wanted to breathe easier!
18. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the pack of cigarettes? Sorry, but I’m breaking up with you!
19. Why did the New Year’s resolution start practicing mindfulness? Because it wanted to find inner peace!
20. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the meditation pillow? Let’s find serenity together!

jokes about new year's resolutions

21. Why did the New Year’s resolution decide to start a blog? Because it had a lot to say!
22. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the keyboard? Let’s write some amazing stories!
23. Why did the New Year’s resolution want to learn how to cook? Because it wanted to become a master chef!
24. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the cookbook? Let’s whip up some delicious recipes!
25. Why did the New Year’s resolution start practicing yoga? Because it wanted to find balance in its life!
26. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the yoga mat? Let’s strike a pose and find our Zen!
27. Why did the New Year’s resolution decide to start a garden? Because it wanted to sow the seeds of success!
28. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the watering can? Let’s nurture some beautiful plants!
29. Why did the New Year’s resolution want to improve its time management? Because it wanted to make every second count!
30. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the alarm clock? Let’s wake up early and seize the day!
31. Why did the New Year’s resolution decide to start volunteering? Because it wanted to make a difference in the world!
32. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the charity organization? Count me in, I’m ready to help!
33. Why did the New Year’s resolution want to learn how to dance? Because it wanted to groove through life!
34. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the dance floor? Let’s bust a move and have some fun!
35. Why did the New Year’s resolution decide to cut back on social media? Because it wanted to focus on real connections!
36. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the smartphone? I’m putting you down and looking up!
37. Why did the New Year’s resolution want to start a business? Because it had an entrepreneurial spirit!
38. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the business plan? Let’s turn our dreams into reality!
39. Why did the New Year’s resolution decide to adopt a pet? Because it wanted a furry friend to share life with!
40. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the pet adoption center? I’m ready to give a loving home!

jokes about new year's resolutions

41. Why did the New Year’s resolution want to improve its public speaking skills? Because it wanted to be a confident communicator!
42. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the podium? Watch me shine on stage!
43. Why did the New Year’s resolution start practicing gratitude? Because it wanted to appreciate life’s blessings!
44. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the gratitude journal? Let’s count our blessings every day!
45. Why did the New Year’s resolution decide to take up photography? Because it wanted to capture beautiful moments!
46. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the camera? Let’s focus on creating amazing pictures!
47. Why did the New Year’s resolution want to become more organized? Because it was tired of living in chaos!
48. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the planner? Let’s schedule success and stay on track!
49. Why did the New Year’s resolution decide to start a book club? Because it wanted to discuss and share great reads!
50. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the book club members? Let’s dive into captivating stories together!
51. Why did the New Year’s resolution want to improve its financial literacy? Because it wanted to make smart money moves!
52. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the piggy bank? Let’s save and watch our money grow!
53. Why did the New Year’s resolution start learning how to code? Because it wanted to unlock the world of technology!
54. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the coding tutorial? Let’s write lines of code and create something amazing!
55. Why did the New Year’s resolution want to start a podcast? Because it had a voice worth sharing!
56. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the microphone? Let’s start recording and inspire others!
57. Why did the New Year’s resolution decide to learn how to swim? Because it wanted to make a splash!
58. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the swimming pool? Let’s dive in and conquer our fears!
59. Why did the New Year’s resolution want to become more environmentally conscious? Because it cared about the planet!
60. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the recycling bin? Let’s reduce, reuse, and recycle!

jokes about new year's resolutions

61. Why did the New Year’s resolution start practicing self-care? Because it wanted to prioritize its well-being!
62. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the bubble bath? Time to relax and rejuvenate!
63. Why did the New Year’s resolution want to learn how to knit? Because it wanted to stitch its way to creativity!
64. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the knitting needles? Let’s knit something warm and cozy!
65. Why did the New Year’s resolution decide to start a YouTube channel? Because it wanted to share its passions with the world!
66. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the video camera? Lights, camera, action! Let’s create great content!
67. Why did the New Year’s resolution want to become more adventurous? Because it craved thrilling experiences!
68. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the bungee jumping instructor? I’m ready to take the leap!
69. Why did the New Year’s resolution decide to start a journal? Because it wanted to document its personal growth!
70. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the blank pages? Let’s fill this journal with memories and reflections!
71. Why did the New Year’s resolution want to become a better listener? Because it valued meaningful conversations!
72. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the earphones? Let’s turn up the volume and truly hear others!
73. Why did the New Year’s resolution decide to start practicing forgiveness? Because it wanted to let go of grudges!
74. What did the New Year’s resolution say to the mirror? I forgive myself and embrace a fresh start!
75. Why did the New Year’s resolution want to learn how to juggle? Because it wanted to master the art of balancing goals!

Alex Haywood, Founder of Discover Jokes
About the author

I know how stressful life can be, and sometimes we just need to take a break and enjoy a moment of humor. That’s why I’ve dedicated myself to finding the best jokes, memes, and videos on the internet and bringing them to you all in one place.

Leave a Comment