75 Hilarious Jokes About Hands That Will Have You Clapping with Laughter

Are you ready to chuckle and forget your worries for a moment? Well, get your palms ready because we’ve got 75 hilarious hand jokes that are sure to have you rolling with laughter! We’ll cover everything from cheesy puns to witty one-liners as we dive deep into the world of hands. Trust us, no aspect of hands is off-limits – whether it’s their size, shape, or even their unique aroma! These jokes are perfect for brightening up your day or sharing some laughs with friends (or strangers!) So sit back, relax and get ready to give yourself a round of applause as we explore this collection of side-splitting hand jokes. Let’s begin our journey together and enjoy the ride!

List of Jokes About Hands

 

jokes about hands

 

1. Why did the hand go to the party? Because it wanted to give everyone a high five!
2. What did one hand say to the other hand? Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!
3. Why did the hand bring a ladder to the concert? Because it wanted to get a hand in the air!
4. What did the left hand say to the right hand? I don’t know, I never pay attention during hand conversations!
5. How do you catch a squirrel with one hand? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
6. Why did the hand go to the art gallery? Because it wanted to lend a hand with the paintings!
7. What did the hand say to the face? Slap! I got you!
8. How did the hand win the race? It had a good grip on the victory!
9. Why did the hand go to the gym? It wanted to work on its finger-cise!
10. What do you call a hand that’s been bitten by a vampire? A “palm-pire”!
11. Why did the hand wear sunglasses? To give palm reading in style!
12. What did one hand say to the other hand while playing cards? Don’t worry, I’ve got you dealt!
13. How did the hand get a promotion? It nailed the interview!
14. Why did the hand go to the beach? To get a tan and some sandy fingers!
15. What do you call a hand that can play the piano? A “handel”!
16. Why did the hand get a ticket? Because it was parked in a “no hands” zone!
17. What did the hand say to the face at the boxing match? Tag! You’re it!
18. How do you make a handkerchief dance? You put a little “hand” in it!
19. Why did the hand start a band? Because it wanted to be a finger-lickin’ good musician!
20. What did the five fingers say to the face? High five!

jokes about hands

 

21. How did the hand get a date? It picked up the phone and dialed!
22. Why did the hand join a book club? It wanted to thumb through some good reads!
23. What did the hand say to the wrist? I’m in glove with you!
24. How does a hand stop a sneeze? It gives it a “handkerchief”!
25. Why did the hand go to the library? To check out some “palmistry” books!
26. What did the hand say to the hammer? You nailed it!
27. How did the hand get a job as a chef? It had a good “grasp” of cooking!
28. Why did the hand go to the party alone? Because it couldn’t find a “hand-some” date!
29. What do you call a hand that’s afraid of the dark? A “flashlight”!
30. How did the hand win the poker game? It had a “full hand”!
31. Why did the hand apply for a passport? It wanted to travel the world and wave “hello” in different languages!
32. What did the hand say to the arm? You’re my right-hand man!
33. How did the hand become an artist? It had a finger for creativity!
34. Why did the hand go to the dance? To show off its “handstand” moves!
35. What did one hand puppet say to the other? Quit pulling my strings!
36. How did the hand make it through a tough day? It gave itself a pat on the back!
37. Why did the hand start a YouTube channel? It wanted to show off its “handy” skills!
38. What did the hand say to the clock? I’m all fingers and thumbs!
39. How did the hand become a detective? It had a knack for “finger-printing”!
40. Why did the hand go to the comedy club? Because it wanted to give a “hand” at making people laugh!

jokes about hands

 

41. What did the hand say to the face during winter? Don’t worry, I’ll give you a warm slap!
42. How did the hand become a magician? It mastered the art of “sleight of hand”!
43. Why did the hand go to the concert alone? Because it couldn’t find a “hand-in-hand” companion!
44. What did the thumb say to the pinky finger? You’re just a little “pinkie” toe!
45. How did the hand become a musician? It knew all the “hand-les” of playing an instrument!
46. Why did the hand wear gloves in the summer? Because it didn’t want to get “hand-burnt”!
47. What did the hand say to the face during a game of hide-and-seek? I’ve got you uncovered!
48. How did the hand win the boxing match? It had a knockout punch!
49. Why did the hand start a blog? Because it had a “handful” of stories to share!
50. What did one hand puppet say to the other puppet while shopping? Let’s “handle” these bags!
51. How did the hand become a photographer? It had an eye for capturing “hand-some” moments!
52. Why did the hand join a yoga class? It wanted to master the “handstand” pose!
53. What did the hand say to the shoulder? Shoulder, I can always lean on you!
54. How does the hand greet the fingers in the morning? Good “hand-rning”!
55. Why did the hand become a race car driver? It loved the thrill of “steering” wheel!
56. What did the hand say to the foot? Let’s put our best “foot” forward!
57. How did the hand become a barber? It knew all the “cutting-edge” hairstyles!
58. Why did the hand go to the theater? It wanted to give a “hand” to the actors!
59. What did the hand say to the computer mouse? I’ll click with you!
60. How did the hand become a tailor? It had a good eye for “hand-stitching”!

jokes about hands

 

61. Why did the hand go to the amusement park? To have a “handful” of fun!
62. What did the palm of the hand say to the fingers? Hold on tight!
63. How did the hand become a pilot? It had a firm “grip” on the controls!
64. Why did the hand start a gardening club? It loved to have a green thumb!
65. What did the hand say to the sandwich? I’ll lend you a helping hand!
66. How did the hand become a mathematician? It had fingers for counting!
67. Why did the hand go to the circus? To master the art of “juggling”!
68. What did one hand puppet say to the other puppet while cooking? Let’s “hand-le” these ingredients!
69. How did the hand become a firefighter? It could handle the heat!
70. Why did the hand start a rock band? It knew how to give a “hand-banging” performance!
71. What did the hand say to the mirror? I see you hand-some!
72. How did the hand become a teacher? It had a finger for pointing out knowledge!
73. Why did the hand start a fashion line? It had a good sense of “hand-ler”!
74. What did the hand say to the pen? Let’s write our own story!
75. How did the hand become a soccer player? It had great “hand-eye” coordination!

 

 

 

Alex Haywood, Founder of Discover Jokes
About the author

I know how stressful life can be, and sometimes we just need to take a break and enjoy a moment of humor. That’s why I’ve dedicated myself to finding the best jokes, memes, and videos on the internet and bringing them to you all in one place.

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