Are you ready for some football…humor? Whether you’re a diehard Dallas Cowboys fan or just appreciate a good punchline, I’ve got 75 jokes that are sure to score big laughs.
Let’s be real, America’s Team has had its share of ups and downs over the years. But one thing we can all agree on is that laughter is the best medicine when it comes to surviving those nail-biting moments during a game.
List of Dallas Cowboys Jokes
1. Why did the Dallas Cowboys wear sunglasses? Because they couldn’t handle the bright lights of success!
2. What do you call a Dallas Cowboys player with a Super Bowl ring? A collector’s item!
3. Why did the Dallas Cowboys go to the bank? To get their quarterback’s “cents” of humor!
4. What do you call a Dallas Cowboys player who has lost all his money? A poor decision maker!
5. Why did the Dallas Cowboys bring a ladder to the game? Because they always reach for the stars and end up falling!
6. How do the Dallas Cowboys count to ten? 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10!
7. What did the Dallas Cowboys say to the football? “Don’t worry, we’ll drop you eventually!”
8. Why did the Dallas Cowboys hire a pastry chef? Because they couldn’t find anyone else who could handle turnovers!
9. How do the Dallas Cowboys avoid going broke? They keep trying to pass their debts!
10. What do the Dallas Cowboys and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
11. Why did the Dallas Cowboys build a swimming pool at their stadium? Because they heard their fans liked to drown their sorrows!
12. What did the Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team won the Super Bowl? He turned off his PlayStation!
13. Why did the Dallas Cowboys sign an exterminator? To get rid of all the bugs in their playbook!
14. What’s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill!
15. Why don’t the Dallas Cowboys drink tea? Because the Cowboys can’t even get a “T”!
16. What’s the Dallas Cowboys’ favorite type of math? Subtraction, because they’re always taking away points!
17. How do the Dallas Cowboys players stay cool during games? They stand near the fans!
18. Why did the Dallas Cowboys quarterback go to the bank? To improve his completion percentage!
19. What do you call a Dallas Cowboys player who wins the Super Bowl MVP? A visitor!
20. Why did the Dallas Cowboys change their uniforms to orange? So they can play better “pumpkin”!
21. How do the Dallas Cowboys players introduce themselves? “Hi, I’m here to drop the ball!”
22. What’s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a pinball machine? A pinball machine scores more points!
23. Why did the Dallas Cowboys become a band? Because they wanted to make more turnovers!
24. How do you keep a Dallas Cowboys player out of your yard? Put up goalposts!
25. What do you call a Dallas Cowboys player with a championship ring? A former player!
26. Why don’t the Dallas Cowboys play hide and seek? Because nobody can find the end zone!
27. What’s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a paper airplane? A paper airplane can at least make it to the playoffs!
28. How do the Dallas Cowboys players order their pizza? They call for a “delivery”!
29. Why did the Dallas Cowboys hire a math teacher? Because they needed help counting their losses!
30. What’s the Dallas Cowboys’ favorite kind of music? Fumble rap!
31. How do the Dallas Cowboys players like their eggs? Unscrambled, just like their plays!
32. What do you call a Dallas Cowboys fan with half a brain? Gifted!
33. Why did the Dallas Cowboys go to the bank with a ladder? To get a high-interest rate!
34. What did the Dallas Cowboys fan say after his team won the Super Bowl? “Mom, I must be dreaming!”
35. Why did the Dallas Cowboys player go to art school? To learn how to draw a completion!
36. How do the Dallas Cowboys players change a lightbulb? They don’t. They’re afraid of bright ideas!
37. What’s the Dallas Cowboys’ favorite exercise? Dropping the ball!
38. Why did the Dallas Cowboys bring a ladder to the game? Because they heard the winner gets to “climb” the podium!
39. How do the Dallas Cowboys players order their drinks? One ice-cold fumble, please!
40. What do you call a Dallas Cowboys player with a college degree? A miracle!
41. Why did the Dallas Cowboys quarterback bring a ladder to the game? To reach new lows!
42. What’s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a smartphone? A smartphone has better reception!
43. How do the Dallas Cowboys players get their exercise during practice? They keep running from the end zone!
44. Why did the Dallas Cowboys fan open a bakery? To make a living off turnovers!
45. What’s the Dallas Cowboys’ favorite dance move? The fumble shuffle!
46. Why did the Dallas Cowboys player bring a ladder to the game? So he could get closer to his dreams of winning!
47. How do the Dallas Cowboys players watch movies? They always fast-forward to the credits!
48. What do you call a Dallas Cowboys player who tries to tackle but misses? A whiff of fresh air!
49. Why did the Dallas Cowboys player bring a ladder to the game? To climb out of the basement of the standings!
50. How many Dallas Cowboys players does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They’re used to living in the Cowboys’ shadow!
51. What’s the Dallas Cowboys’ favorite cereal? Fumble-O’s!
52. Why did the Dallas Cowboys player go to culinary school? To learn how to cook up turnovers!
53. How do the Dallas Cowboys players keep their uniforms wrinkle-free? They never make it to the playoffs!
54. What do you call a Dallas Cowboys player who wins a game? Unreliable!
55. Why did the Dallas Cowboys player bring a ladder to the game? To raise the bar of disappointment!
56. How do the Dallas Cowboys players eat their soup? With a ladle, just like they handle the ball!
57. What’s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a squirrel? The squirrel knows how to find the end zone!
58. Why did the Dallas Cowboys hire an archaeologist? To dig up their glory days!
59. How do the Dallas Cowboys players communicate on the field? Through interception!
60. What do you call a Dallas Cowboys player who can catch the ball? An urban legend!
61. Why did the Dallas Cowboys player bring a ladder to the game? To get closer to their fans, who always leave early!
62. How do the Dallas Cowboys players open a bottle? They fumble around with the cap!
63. What’s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a mailbox? The mailbox has better hands!
64. Why did the Dallas Cowboys player bring a ladder to the game? To reach for the stars but end up with a cloud of disappointment!
65. How do the Dallas Cowboys players cut their pizza? They don’t. They’re used to getting sliced in the standings!
66. What do you call a Dallas Cowboys player who can complete a pass? Out of character!
67. Why did the Dallas Cowboys change their team name to the “Jokers”? Because they’re always playing around and never winning!
68. How do the Dallas Cowboys players handle a winning streak? They let it slip through their fingers!
69. What’s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a broken pencil? A broken pencil still has a point!
70. Why did the Dallas Cowboys player bring a ladder to the game? To climb up the ladder of mediocrity!
71. How do the Dallas Cowboys players tie their shoelaces? With a lot of fumbling!
72. What do you call a Dallas Cowboys player who completes a pass? Surprised!
73. Why did the Dallas Cowboys player bring a ladder to the game? To reach new lows in performance!
74. How do the Dallas Cowboys players take their coffee? With a side of turnovers!
75. What’s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a broken mirror? The broken mirror still reflects some victories!
