Hey there, Miami Marlins fans! Are you in need of a good laugh? Well, you’ve come to the right place because I have something special for you. I’ve put together a list of 75 fin-tastic jokes that will have you rolling on the floor with laughter.
So sit back, relax and get ready to giggle your way through some seriously funny content – no matter if you’re reading during your morning coffee or just before bed. Let’s dive right into these hilarious jokes about your favorite team!
List of Miami Marlins Jokes
1. Why did the Miami Marlins hire a gardener? Because they needed someone to keep the outfield grass from disappearing!
2. What did the Miami Marlins player say when he struck out looking? “I guess I just couldn’t sea the ball!”
3. Why did the Miami Marlins fan bring a ladder to the game? Because he heard the Marlins could use some help climbing out of the basement!
4. What do you call a Miami Marlins player who hits a home run? An endangered species!
5. Why did the Miami Marlins start a synchronized swimming team? Because they needed something they could actually win at!
6. How do the Miami Marlins celebrate a victory? They trade away their best player!
7. Why don’t the Miami Marlins play hide-and-seek? Because no one would ever find them!
8. What did the Miami Marlins fan do after his team won the World Series? He woke up from his dream!
9. Why did the Miami Marlins change their name to the “Fisherman”? Because they’re always casting away their good players!
10. How do you make a Miami Marlins fan’s day? Give them a calendar with no games scheduled!
11. Why did the Miami Marlins skip the baseball draft? They thought it was a fishing draft!
12. What’s the difference between a Miami Marlins player and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill!
13. Why did the Miami Marlins outfielder bring a ladder to the game? He wanted to be able to reach the warning track!
14. What do you call it when a Miami Marlins pitcher throws a no-hitter? A miracle!
15. Why don’t the Miami Marlins have a team bus? They can’t seem to find any drivers who want to be associated with them!
16. How do the Miami Marlins celebrate their anniversary? By giving out another No-Hitter bobblehead!
17. What did the Miami Marlins fan say when his team finally made the playoffs? “Wait, this isn’t a joke?”
18. Why did the Miami Marlins player bring a ladder to the game? He wanted to be able to see the other teams’ scores!
19. What’s the Miami Marlins’ favorite song? “Under the Sea” by Sebastian the Crab!
20. Why did the Miami Marlins outfielder bring a map to the game? So he could find his way back to the dugout!
21. How do the Miami Marlins order their pizza? With plenty of extra “dough” for free agents!
22. Why did the Miami Marlins install a swimming pool in their stadium? So they can practice diving for balls that go over their heads!
23. What do you call a Miami Marlins fan with a championship ring? A time traveler!
24. Why did the Miami Marlins get a new mascot? Because their old one kept swimming away!
25. How do the Miami Marlins pay for their team meals? With a “scale” of 1 to 10!
26. What’s the Miami Marlins’ favorite type of movie? The “Gone Fishin'” variety!
27. Why did the Miami Marlins player bring a fishing rod to the game? He wanted to reel in some wins!
28. How do the Miami Marlins keep their dugout cool? They leave all the fans at home!
29. Why did the Miami Marlins trade their star player for a bag of peanuts? Because they wanted to make some “shell” of a move!
30. What’s the Miami Marlins’ favorite board game? Go Fish!
31. Why did the Miami Marlins ban fishing at their stadium? They were tired of seeing more catches in the stands than on the field!
32. What do you call a Miami Marlins player with a World Series ring? A former player!
33. How do the Miami Marlins cheer up their fans after a loss? They promise that the next one will be even worse!
34. Why did the Miami Marlins change their team colors to green and blue? Because they wanted to match the color of their fans’ faces!
35. What do the Miami Marlins and a sinking ship have in common? Both are better off without any Marlins on board!
36. How do the Miami Marlins make their players feel at home? They put a “For Sale” sign in their lockers!
37. Why did the Miami Marlins install a revolving door in their clubhouse? So players can come and go as they please!
38. What do you call a Miami Marlins player who can’t hit? A benchwarmer!
39. Why did the Miami Marlins player go to the dentist? Because he needed a check-up after constantly biting on his bat!
40. How do the Miami Marlins teach their players to steal bases? They show them a highlight reel of their opponents’ fielding errors!
41. What’s the Miami Marlins’ favorite holiday? Sinko de Mayo!
42. Why did the Miami Marlins player bring a snorkel to the game? He wanted to be prepared for all the tears from the fans!
43. How do the Miami Marlins measure success? By how many players they can trade for prospects!
44. What do you call a Miami Marlins player who wins a Gold Glove? Lost!
45. Why did the Miami Marlins ban mirrors from their clubhouse? Because they didn’t want the players to see how bad they looked!
46. How do the Miami Marlins choose their starting pitcher? They close their eyes and point to a name on the roster!
47. What’s the Miami Marlins’ favorite dessert? Seafood crepes!
48. Why did the Miami Marlins coach bring a fishing net to the game? To catch any players who were thinking of leaving!
49. How do the Miami Marlins motivate their players? They tell them they can always pursue a career in a different sport!
50. What do you call a Miami Marlins fan who has given up hope? Realistic!
51. Why did the Miami Marlins build a statue of their owner outside the stadium? Because it’s the only way they’ll have something worth seeing!
52. What’s the Miami Marlins’ favorite movie genre? Sports documentaries about teams that actually win!
53. Why did the Miami Marlins install extra lights in their stadium? So the fans can see them sell out!
54. How do the Miami Marlins make their players feel valued? They give them a participation trophy after every loss!
55. What do you call a Miami Marlins player who can hit for power? A myth!
56. Why did the Miami Marlins player bring a fishing tackle box to the game? He wanted to catch some Marlins magic!
57. How do the Miami Marlins make their players feel at home? They hang up pictures of empty seats in the clubhouse!
58. What’s the Miami Marlins’ favorite type of magic trick? Turning a winning season into a losing one!
59. Why did the Miami Marlins hire a magician? To make their attendance numbers disappear!
60. How do the Miami Marlins make their players feel comfortable in the outfield? They tell them it’s okay to take a seat and watch the game!
61. What do you call a Miami Marlins player who can’t steal bases? A stranded fish!
62. Why did the Miami Marlins player bring a fishing pole to the game? He hoped to catch a break!
63. How do the Miami Marlins keep their players focused during games? They remind them that the game will be over soon!
64. What’s the Miami Marlins’ favorite subject in school? Fish-tory!
65. Why did the Miami Marlins hire a fortune teller as their manager? They thought maybe she could predict a winning season!
66. How do the Miami Marlins make their players feel confident at the plate? They give them a list of all the opposing pitchers’ career ERAs!
67. What do you call a Miami Marlins player who steals a base? A rare sighting!
68. Why did the Miami Marlins change their team logo to a fish hook? Because they wanted to remind their fans of all the ones that got away!
69. How do the Miami Marlins motivate their pitchers? They promise them an extra day of rest after every loss!
70. What’s the Miami Marlins’ favorite type of comedy? Mockumentaries about their seasons!
71. Why did the Miami Marlins player bring a fishing net to the game? To catch any fans who were considering jumping ship!
72. How do the Miami Marlins keep their players hydrated during games? They offer them a glass of water and say, “Don’t worry, it’s not a winning formula!”
73. What’s the Miami Marlins’ favorite type of vacation? One where they can disappear from the standings!
74. Why did the Miami Marlins invite a magician to their fan appreciation day? Because he was the only one who could make their attendance numbers disappear!
75. How do the Miami Marlins console their fans after a loss? They remind them that it’s just another day in Fishstory!
