Are you ready to buckle up and have a good laugh? We’ve got just the thing for you! Get ready to dive headfirst into our article, “75 Hilarious Touchdowns of Humor: Las Vegas Raiders Jokes That Will Make You Go Wild!”
It’s chock-full of witty puns, lighthearted jabs, and downright hilarious moments that will leave you rolling on the floor with laughter. We’ll take you on a journey through the world of the Las Vegas Raiders like never before – get ready for some serious fun!
List of Las Vegas Raiders Jokes
1. What did the Las Vegas Raiders fan say to the referee? Can you please throw a flag on the other team for winning?
2. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders wear sunglasses during the game? Because they couldn’t handle the bright lights of victory!
3. What do you call a Las Vegas Raiders player with no hands? All talk and no catch!
4. How do the Las Vegas Raiders keep their players cool during the game? They give them shady contracts!
5. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders change their logo to a question mark? Because they’re still searching for a Super Bowl win!
6. What did the Las Vegas Raiders fan do when they finally won a game? They woke up from their dream!
7. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a ladder to the game? Because they heard the goalposts were higher than their chances of winning!
8. How do you stop a Las Vegas Raiders player from scoring a touchdown? Put a dollar bill on the goal line!
9. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders hire a meteorologist? Because they wanted to know if they had any chance of a “silver and black”out!
10. What’s the difference between a Las Vegas Raiders player and a dollar bill? The dollar bill can score a touchdown!
11. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders install a revolving door in their locker room? So the players can keep coming and going without any success!
12. How do you confuse a Las Vegas Raiders fan? Tell them the team has a winning season!
13. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a ladder to the game? Because they heard the opposing team was reaching new heights!
14. What’s the Las Vegas Raiders’ favorite type of music? Heavy metal, because it reminds them of their helmets!
15. How do you make a Las Vegas Raiders player run faster? Give them a free buffet coupon!
16. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders install artificial turf in their stadium? Because they wanted a surface that matches their artificial chances of winning!
17. How many Las Vegas Raiders players does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they’re always in the dark!
18. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a map to the game? Because they heard the end zone was somewhere far, far away!
19. What do you call a Las Vegas Raiders player who wins the lottery? A miracle!
20. How do the Las Vegas Raiders count to 10? 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4…
21. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a deck of cards to the game? Because they thought they had a “full house”!
22. What’s the difference between a Las Vegas Raiders player and a battery? A battery has a positive side!
23. Why don’t Las Vegas Raiders players use elevators? They can never seem to get to the next level!
24. How do you motivate a Las Vegas Raiders player? Threaten to move the team to another city!
25. What’s the Las Vegas Raiders’ favorite pizza topping? Choke-aroni!
26. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a pen and paper to the game? To draw up their retirement plans!
27. How do you stop a Las Vegas Raiders player from stealing your lunch? Put it in the end zone!
28. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player go to the bank? To withdraw their hopes of winning!
29. What’s the difference between the Las Vegas Raiders and a piñata? The piñata actually has a chance of getting hit!
30. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a calculator to the game? To calculate their odds of winning!
31. How do you make a Las Vegas Raiders player laugh on a Sunday? Tell them a joke on Monday!
32. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player get a job at the bakery? Because they’re used to getting turnovers!
33. What do you call it when a Las Vegas Raiders player scores a touchdown? A rare occurrence!
34. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a pillow to the game? Because they knew it would be a snooze-fest!
35. How do you get a Las Vegas Raiders player off your porch? Pay them for the pizza!
36. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a mirror to the game? To reflect on their mistakes!
37. What’s the Las Vegas Raiders’ favorite type of candy? Lollipop, because they’re always stuck on the bottom!
38. How do you keep a Las Vegas Raiders player from taking your lunch money? Hide it in the end zone!
39. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a book to the game? To study their opponents’ winning strategies!
40. What do you call a Las Vegas Raiders player who wins the lottery? Lucky, because it’s the only way they’ll experience winning!
41. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a snorkel to the game? Because they heard they were going to be in deep water!
42. How do you confuse a Las Vegas Raiders player? Ask them to spell “victory”!
43. What’s the difference between a Las Vegas Raiders player and a donut? The donut has a chance of being glazed!
44. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a calculator to the game? To figure out their quarterback’s passer rating!
45. How do you make a Las Vegas Raiders player run faster? Put a dollar bill on the finish line!
46. What do you call a Las Vegas Raiders player with a Super Bowl ring? A former player!
47. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a camera to the game? To capture their rare moments of success!
48. How do you stop a Las Vegas Raiders player from drowning? Take your foot off their head!
49. What’s the difference between the Las Vegas Raiders and a garbage can? The garbage can gets taken out more often!
50. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a broom to the game? To sweep the stands after another loss!
51. How do you keep a Las Vegas Raiders player out of your backyard? Put up a goalpost!
52. What do you call a Las Vegas Raiders player who actually catches a pass? A collector’s item!
53. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a magnifying glass to the game? To search for their chances of winning!
54. How do you make a Las Vegas Raiders player smile? Tell them they get to leave the team!
55. What’s the difference between the Las Vegas Raiders and a broken clock? The broken clock is right twice a day!
56. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a map to the game? To find their way back to the playoffs!
57. How do you confuse a Las Vegas Raiders player? Put them in front of a mirror and ask them who’s to blame for the losses!
58. What’s the Las Vegas Raiders’ favorite game? Hiding and seeking a Super Bowl victory!
59. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a fishing rod to the game? To catch any hopes of a win!
60. How do you get a Las Vegas Raiders player to stop knocking on your door? Offer them a contract!
61. What’s the difference between the Las Vegas Raiders and a broken pencil? The pencil still has a point!
62. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a parachute to the game? Because they’re used to a lot of free falls!
63. How do you keep a Las Vegas Raiders player from stealing your car? Hide the keys in the end zone!
64. What do you call a Las Vegas Raiders player who actually wins a game? A myth!
65. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a compass to the game? To navigate their way out of mediocrity!
66. How do you make a Las Vegas Raiders player cry? Show them a highlight reel of their losses!
67. What’s the difference between a Las Vegas Raiders player and a pizza delivery guy? The pizza delivery guy can find the end zone!
68. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a ladder to the game? To reach for the stars, but settle for disappointment!
69. How do you stop a Las Vegas Raiders player from stealing your wallet? Hide it in the trophy case!
70. What’s the Las Vegas Raiders’ favorite vegetable? A carrot, because they’re always chasing it!
71. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a notepad to the game? To jot down excuses for another loss!
72. How do you make a Las Vegas Raiders player disappear? Give them a touchdown!
73. What do you call a Las Vegas Raiders player who wins the MVP award? A fictional character!
74. Why did the Las Vegas Raiders player bring a telescope to the game? To look for their playoff hopes!
75. How do you keep a Las Vegas Raiders player from robbing your house? Put up a goalpost in front of the door!
