Looking for a good way to put a smile on your face? Well folks, you’re in luck! We’ve got 75 of the funniest sewing jokes that are sure to have you bursting at the seams.
Regardless if you’re an established seamstress or someone who’s just getting started with sewing, these jokes will tickle your funny bone. Step right up and prepare yourself for some of the best knee-slappers about needles and thread. Dust off that thimble and let’s get ready to sew up some hilarity!
List of Jokes About Sewing
1. Why did the sewing machine attend therapy? Because it had too many knots to untangle!
2. What did the needle say to the thread? “You’ve got me in stitches!”
3. Why did the fabric go to the dance party? Because it wanted to show off its twill moves!
4. What did the tailor say to the lost button? “I’ll sew you later!”
5. Why did the zipper break up with the button? Because it found a better fit!
6. How did the seamstress fix her broken heart? With a needle and thread of course!
7. What do you call a sewing machine that sings? A stitch-o-phone!
8. Why did the needle refuse to jump into the haystack? Because it didn’t want to be a hay-stuck!
9. What’s a seamstress’s favorite type of math? Pattern-ometry!
10. Why did the tailor start a rock band? Because he wanted to sew some serious threads!
11. What did the sewing machine say to the fabric? “I’m really attached to you!”
12. Why did the dressmaker always carry a pencil behind her ear? Because she wanted to draw the line!
13. How did the thread celebrate its birthday? By having a spool party!
14. What’s a sewing machine’s favorite type of music? Bobbin and thread!
15. Why was the sewing room so hot? Because all the threads were running!
16. What did the thread say to the fabric? “I’m all wound up about you!”
17. Why did the seamstress take up yoga? To find inner stitches!
18. How do sewing enthusiasts get in shape? They do cross-stitch training!
19. What did the sewing machine say to the fabric when it was time to go to bed? “It’s time to hit the sheets!”
20. Why did the button bring a flashlight to the party? Because it wanted to be a real bright button!
21. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it and sew!
22. What did the zipper say to the pants? “I’m sorry, but I’m feeling a little under the weather today. I won’t be able to pull myself together.”
23. Why did the thread get in trouble at school? Because it was always hanging around the wrong spool!
24. How did the sewing machine greet the fabric? With a “sew” nice to meet you!
25. What did the mother sewing machine say to her child sewing machine? “It’s time for you to bobbin up and be a responsible thread!”
26. Why did the button go to the doctor? Because it felt a little unbuttoned!
27. What’s a seamstress’s favorite exercise? Threading the needle!
28. Why did the tailor always carry a ruler in his pocket? Because he liked to measure up!
29. What do you call a sewing machine that tells jokes? A stitcher!
30. Why did the thread blush? Because it touched a hot iron!
31. How do you organize a sewing contest? You thread the needle!
32. What’s a fabric’s favorite type of literature? Seam-novels!
33. Why did the dressmaker become a police officer? Because she was tired of dealing with fabric offenders!
34. What’s a sewing machine’s favorite snack? Button-ut butter and jelly sandwiches!
35. Why did the zipper refuse to apologize? Because it thought it was just a minor mistake!
36. How did the thread win the race? It took the fast track!
37. What did the fabric say to the needle when it got a compliment? “Sew sweet of you!”
38. Why did the seamstress love her job? Because she had a great sense of fabric!
39. What did the sewing machine say when it was feeling down? “I’m in a bit of a stitch-uation.”
40. Why did the button bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to be a real top button!
41. How do you throw a sewing party? You bobbin and weave!
42. What’s a seamstress’s favorite type of music? Sewlful melodies!
43. Why did the thread visit the optometrist? Because it was feeling a little tangled!
44. What did the fabric say when it won the lottery? “I’m going on a seamless vacation!”
45. Why did the needle go to the doctor? Because it felt a little sharp!
46. How did the fabric make a great impression? By leaving a lasting sew-venir!
47. What’s a sewing machine’s favorite sport? Threadmill running!
48. Why did the tailor refuse to lend money? Because he didn’t want to be taken for a button!
49. What do you call a sewing machine that can predict the future? A sewothsayer!
50. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and sew acorns to your clothes!
51. Why did the thread get an award? Because it was outstanding in its field!
52. What did the sewing machine say to the impatient tailor? “Let’s get this thread on the road!”
53. Why did the button join a gym? Because it wanted to tone up!
54. How did the fabric become a billionaire? It inherited a large sewing empire!
55. What did the thread say to the needle when it was feeling nervous? “You really have me in stitches!”
56. Why did the tailor always carry a roll of tape? Because he liked to mend things quickly!
57. How did the sewing machine feel after a long day at work? A little sewed out!
58. What’s a seamstress’s favorite type of movie? A sew-pa thriller!
59. Why did the needle get promoted? Because it always rose to the occasion!
60. What did the button say to the shirt? “You complete me!”
61. How did the fabric stay calm under pressure? It took a few deep stitches!
62. Why did the tailor love gardening? Because he enjoyed working with patches!
63. What do you call a sewing machine that’s always sick? A bobbin with a cold!
64. Why did the button refuse to go skydiving? Because it was afraid of getting unbuttoned in mid-air!
65. How do you make a tissue fly? You sew wings on it!
66. What did the sewing machine say to the fabric when it was feeling tired? “Let’s call it a thread and rest!”
67. Why did the thread join a band? Because it had great tension!
68. What’s a seamstress’s favorite dance move? The bobbin shuffle!
69. Why did the needle go to the party alone? Because it didn’t want to get pinned down!
70. How did the fabric feel when it won the race? It was sew proud!
71. What did the tailor say when he found the missing button? “Button, button, who’s got the button? Oh, there you are!”
72. Why did the sewing machine go on strike? Because it needed a restitch!
73. How did the thread feel after a long day at work? Wound up!
74. What’s a seamstress’s favorite type of dessert? Thread pudding!
75. Why did the button feel left out? Because everyone kept pushing its friends!
