Looking for a quick and easy way to brighten up your day? Look no further! Get ready to chuckle at some of the funniest jokes about nurses out there. Whether you’re in the nursing profession yourself or happen to know one, these timeless quips are guaranteed to bring on the giggles.
I’ve been telling jokes for as long as I can remember, so naturally, I went hunting for only the very best nurse-themed ones around. And now, it’s my pleasure to share them with you today!
From silly puns that will make you cringe (in a good way!) to classic knock-knock quips that never get old – we cover everything in between! One thing’s for sure though – be prepared for a side-splitting time because these jokes are bound to put even the most serious folks into hysterics.
So come along with me on this joke-filled journey and let’s spread some laughter together!
List of Jokes About Nurses
1. Why did the nurse carry a red pen? In case they needed to draw blood!
2. What did the nurse say to the patient who swallowed a coin? No change yet!
3. Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work? Because she heard the doctor say the patient was a little short!
4. What did the nurse say to the doctor who was always late? “Suture self!”
5. Why did the nurse always carry a pencil? Because she wanted to make her point!
6. What did the nurse say when she found a thermometer in her pocket? “Somebody must have my pen!”
7. Why did the nurse keep a picture of a kidney in her wallet? Because it was an organ donor!
8. What did the nurse say to the doctor who was always joking around? “You’re such a laughing stock!”
9. Why did the nurse bring a baseball bat to work? Because she wanted to hit a home run with her patients!
10. What did the nurse say to the patient who couldn’t find his glasses? “I see what you mean!”
11. Why did the nurse carry a pair of scissors? Because she wanted to cut out early!
12. What did the nurse say to the patient who swallowed a lightbulb? “You’re glowing!”
13. Why did the nurse bring a lemon to work? Because she wanted to give her patients a zest for life!
14. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always complaining? “You’re such a pain!”
15. Why did the nurse bring a ruler to work? Because she wanted to measure her patients’ progress!
16. What did the nurse say to the doctor who kept losing his patients? “You’re a real heartbreaker!”
17. Why did the nurse bring a stopwatch to work? Because she wanted to keep track of time!
18. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always sneezing? “Bless you!”
19. Why did the nurse bring a flashlight to work? Because she wanted to shed some light on the situation!
20. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always cold? “You’re giving me the chills!”
21. Why did the nurse bring a calculator to work? Because she wanted to add up her patients’ progress!
22. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always happy? “You’re a real joy!”
23. Why did the nurse bring a compass to work? Because she wanted to find her way around the hospital!
24. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always sleepy? “You’re such a dreamer!”
25. Why did the nurse bring a camera to work? Because she wanted to capture her patients’ best moments!
26. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always hungry? “You’re such a foodie!”
27. Why did the nurse bring a book to work? Because she wanted to read her patients’ charts!
28. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always grumpy? “You’re a real grouch!”
29. Why did the nurse bring a map to work? Because she wanted to help her patients find their way to recovery!
30. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always joking? “You’re a real comedian!”
31. Why did the nurse bring a mirror to work? Because she wanted to reflect on her patients’ progress!
32. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always singing? “You’re a real rock star!”
33. Why did the nurse bring a magnifying glass to work? Because she wanted to take a closer look at her patients!
34. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always dancing? “You’ve got the moves!”
35. Why did the nurse bring a parachute to work? Because she wanted to help her patients land safely!
36. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always playing games? “You’re a real player!”
37. Why did the nurse bring a calendar to work? Because she wanted to keep track of her patients’ appointments!
38. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always reading? “You’re a real bookworm!”
39. Why did the nurse bring a paintbrush to work? Because she wanted to paint a picture of good health!
40. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always watching TV? “You’re a real couch potato!”
41. Why did the nurse bring a kite to work? Because she wanted to help her patients soar to new heights!
42. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always talking? “You’re a real chatterbox!”
43. Why did the nurse bring a fan to work? Because she wanted to keep her patients cool!
44. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always exercising? “You’re a real fitness buff!”
45. Why did the nurse bring a telescope to work? Because she wanted to see her patients’ future!
46. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always shopping? “You’re a real fashionista!”
47. Why did the nurse bring a sketchbook to work? Because she wanted to draw a plan for her patients’ care!
48. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always taking selfies? “You’re picture-perfect!”
49. Why did the nurse bring a stopwatch to work? Because she wanted to time her patients’ recovery!
50. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always texting? “You’re a real social butterfly!”
51. Why did the nurse bring a puzzle to work? Because she wanted to piece together her patients’ health!
52. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always cooking? “You’re a real chef!”
53. Why did the nurse bring a magic wand to work? Because she wanted to make her patients’ wishes come true!
54. What did the nurse say to the patient who was always gardening? “You’ve got a green thumb!”
55. Why did the nurse bring a compass to work? Because she wanted to navigate her patients’ health!
