Ready for a good chuckle? If you’re a lover of all things Kiwi, then boy, do we have the article for you! As someone who’s delved deep into the quirks and cultural nuances of New Zealanders, I can guarantee that these jokes won’t disappoint.
Now, we all know humor is subjective. That’s why I’ve got an eclectic mix of 75 knee-slapping jokes about New Zealand that are sure to get even the most stoic person cracking up. So sit back, relax and prepare to laugh out loud with these side-splitting quips!
List of Jokes About New Zealand
1. What did the kiwi say to the kiwifruit? You’re my other half!
2. Why did the sheep go to the dentist? To get a “baaaa-d” tooth extracted!
3. What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud!
4. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
5. What do you call a New Zealander who can play the guitar? A kiwi-ter!
6. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to New Zealand? In case he got a hole in one!
7. What do you call a kiwi that’s been knighted? Sir Vingstone!
8. Why did the scarecrow win an award in New Zealand? Because he was outstanding in his field!
9. How do you catch a squirrel in New Zealand? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
10. Why don’t scientists trust atoms from New Zealand? Because they make up everything!
11. What do you call a fish with no eyes in New Zealand? Fsh!
12. Why did the tomato turn green in New Zealand? Because it was seasick!
13. What did the New Zealander say to the sheep? “I love ewe!”
14. Why was the math book sad in New Zealand? Because it had too many problems!
15. What do you call a Kiwi with wings? A high-flying fruit!
16. Why don’t ducks tell jokes while they’re flying in New Zealand? Because they would quack up!
17. What’s a New Zealand fruit’s favorite song? “I Will Kiwi Love You”!
18. Why did the tomato turn into a superhero in New Zealand? Because it wanted to fight crime “ketchup-tice”!
19. How do you make a kiwi laugh in New Zealand? Tell it a “punny” joke!
20. What do you call a New Zealander who loves to dance? A kiwi shaker!
21. Why did the kiwi go to the hospital in New Zealand? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
22. What do you call a group of sheep in New Zealand singing together? A baaa-nd!
23. How did the New Zealander find his sheep in the tall grass? Very satisfying!
24. Why don’t spiders in New Zealand like going online? They prefer using the world wide web!
25. What did the New Zealand volcano say to the other volcano? “I lava you!”
26. Why did the kiwi take a vacation in New Zealand? It needed a break from the nest!
27. What’s a kiwi’s favorite type of music in New Zealand? Rock-a-fruit!
28. Why did the New Zealander bring a ladder to the bar? Because the drinks were on the house!
29. How did the New Zealander get his donkey to stop moving? He told it to be stable!
30. What do you call a sheep that tells jokes in New Zealand? A “com-e-dian”!
31. Why did the tomato go out with a prune in New Zealand? Because it couldn’t find a date!
32. What do you call a New Zealand cow that plays the guitar? A moosician!
33. Why did the kiwi become an architect in New Zealand? Because it wanted to build a nest home!
34. How do you fix a broken tomato in New Zealand? With tomato paste!
35. What did the kiwi say to the avocado in New Zealand? “Guac’s up?”
36. Why did the New Zealander go to space? To see if the moon was really made of cheese!
37. What do you call a New Zealand snail with a shell on its back? A mobile home!
38. Why did the kiwi wear a life jacket in New Zealand? Because it wanted to be safe and fruity!
39. How do you count cows in New Zealand? With a cow-culator!
40. What’s a kiwi’s favorite type of sandwich in New Zealand? A fruit roll!
41. Why did the New Zealander bring a ladder to the concert? Because they had great “stage height”!
42. What did the kiwi say to the pineapple in New Zealand? “You’re looking sharp!”
43. Why did the tomato go to New Zealand? To ketchup with old friends!
44. What do you call a New Zealand fruit with a sword? A kiwi-knight!
45. Why was the New Zealand math book sad? Because it had too many unknown “kiwi-variables”!
46. What do you call a sheep that knows karate in New Zealand? A lamb-chop!
47. Why did the New Zealander buy a ladder? Because they heard the prices were “sky high”!
48. How do you turn a kiwi into an apple in New Zealand? Paint it red!
49. What’s a sheep’s favorite type of vehicle in New Zealand? A “lamb”orghini!
50. Why did the tomato go to the party in New Zealand? Because it couldn’t “ketchup” on sleep!
51. What do you call a kiwi that’s always grumpy in New Zealand? A sour-fruit!
52. Why did the New Zealander become an artist? Because they wanted to draw attention!
53. How did the New Zealander get to the top of the mountain? They climbed it “shear” determination!
54. What do you call a New Zealand fruit that’s good at math? A pineapple!
55. Why did the kiwi feel embarrassed in New Zealand? It couldn’t find its feathers!
56. What’s a New Zealander’s favorite exercise? Running around the “fruit” bowl!
57. Why did the tomato blush in New Zealand? Because it saw the salad dressing!
58. What do you call a kiwi that can’t fly in New Zealand? A walk-a-fruit!
59. Why did the New Zealander become a chef? Because they loved cooking with “flavorite” fruits!
60. How do you make a kiwi stop laughing in New Zealand? Tickle its “fruit”-ny bone!
61. What do you call a New Zealand fruit that’s always telling jokes? A pun-apple!
62. Why did the tomato turn into a superhero in New Zealand? Because it wanted to “ketchup” to the villains!
63. What’s a New Zealander’s favorite type of dessert? Fruit “pavlova”!
64. Why did the kiwi go to the gym in New Zealand? To work on its “peck”-torals!
65. What do you call a New Zealand fruit with a crown? A “kiwi-ng”!
66. Why did the tomato turn orange in New Zealand? Because it was “ripe” and ready!
67. What do you call a sheep that can sing in New Zealand? A “baa”-rbershop quartet!
68. Why did the New Zealander bring a ladder to the beach? To climb the “sand” dunes!
69. How do you make a kiwi float in New Zealand? Add soda and a scoop of ice cream!
70. What do you call a New Zealand fruit that’s great at football? A “kick”-iwi!
71. Why did the tomato go to the concert in New Zealand? Because it wanted to “ketchup” with the music!
72. What’s a New Zealander’s favorite game? Fruit-basketball!
73. Why did the kiwi become a comedian in New Zealand? Because it had great “punchlines”!
74. What do you call a New Zealand fruit that’s a superhero? Avocapo!
75. Why did the tomato go on a diet in New Zealand? Because it wanted to be a “svelte”-ery fruit!
