Hey there, are you looking for a good time in Maryland? Trust me when I say that this state has got plenty of reasons to visit, but its sense of humor may just be the best one yet!
I’ve gathered up 75 side-splitting jokes about Maryland that will have you grinning from ear to ear. You’ll see just how clever and charming this state can be as we dive into witty quips about Baltimore’s famous crab cakes or poke fun at Annapolis’ love for naval history.
List of Jokes About Maryland
1. Why did the crab refuse to share its secrets? Because it was shellfish!
2. What did the Baltimore Orioles say to the baseball? You’re my main catch!
3. Why did the Maryland blue crab blush? Because it saw the Old Bay seasoning!
4. How did the Maryland crab fix its broken shell? With a “clawback” plan!
5. What did the Chesapeake Bay say to the Atlantic Ocean? Long time no sea!
6. Why did the Marylander bring a ladder to the seafood festival? To reach the high tide!
7. How do Marylanders greet each other during football season? With a “Raven”-ous handshake!
8. Why did the crab get a ticket? Because it was caught “crab”-bing the parking spot!
9. What’s a Marylander’s favorite exercise? Crunches with Old Bay!
10. Why did the Baltimore Ravens invite a crow to their party? They wanted to have a “flock”-tail hour!
11. What did the Maryland crab do at the dance party? It did the “crab”-walk!
12. How does a Marylander like their coffee? With a splash of Old Bay!
13. Why did the Maryland blue crab go to therapy? It had shell-f-esteem issues!
14. What do you call a Maryland crab that can sing? A “melody” crab!
15. Why did the Marylander become a gardener? To grow Old Bay leaf!
16. What did the Maryland crab say when it won the lottery? I’m feeling “crabby” lucky!
17. Why did the Baltimore Ravens go to the bakery? They wanted a “roll”-ing victory!
18. How did the Maryland crab make it to the beach? By “scuttling” its way there!
19. What did the Chesapeake Bay say to the Chesapeake Bridge? Stop “bridging” the gap!
20. Why did the Marylander bring a fishing rod to the mall? To catch some “shop” crabs!
21. How does a Marylander style their hair? With a “crab”-cut!
22. What did the Baltimore Ravens say to the football? You’re my “touchdown” mate!
23. Why did the Maryland crab refuse to become a chef? It didn’t want to be a “shellfish” cook!
24. What did the Marylander say to the cheese grater? That’s “grate”!
25. Why did the Baltimore Orioles bring a ladder to the game? They wanted a “home run” view!
26. How did the Maryland crab become an artist? It developed a “claw”-sitive outlook!
27. What did the Chesapeake Bay say to the beachgoers? Don’t make waves, just “Bay”-chill!
28. Why did the Baltimore Ravens join a band? They wanted to be “raven”-ous rock stars!
29. What did the Maryland crab say when it won the dance competition? I’m the “crab”-solute champion!
30. How does a Marylander make their bed? With a “crab”-by cover!
31. Why did the Maryland blue crab start a fashion line? It had a great sense of “style”!
32. What do you call a crab that tells jokes? A “crustacean” comedian!
33. Why did the Baltimore Orioles become astronauts? They wanted to hit home runs on the moon!
34. How did the Maryland crab become a detective? It had a “claws” for solving mysteries!
35. What did the Chesapeake Bay say to the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel? Let’s “bridge” the gap together!
36. Why did the Marylander take a fishing net to the concert? To catch the “bass” guitar!
37. How does a Marylander paint their nails? With a “claw”-ful of color!
38. What did the Baltimore Ravens say to the football field? Let’s make this “raven”-tastic!
39. Why did the Maryland crab start a band? It was “claw”-ving for musical success!
40. What do you call a crab that solves math problems? A “numb-shell”!
41. Why did the Baltimore Orioles bring a pillow to the game? They wanted a “softball” experience!
42. How did the Maryland crab become a scientist? It had a “claw”-ful mind!
43. What did the Chesapeake Bay say to the seagulls? Fly away, don’t “bay”-ther me!
44. Why did the Marylander bring a fishing rod to the movie theater? To catch some “reel” action!
45. How does a Marylander write a letter? With a “crab”-on pen!
46. What did the Baltimore Ravens say to the end zone? Let’s make this “raven”-dous!
47. Why did the Maryland crab become an actor? It wanted to play “claw”-ssic roles!
48. What do you call a crab that loves to dance? A “crab”-aret performer!
49. Why did the Baltimore Orioles bring a flashlight to the game? They wanted to “light up” the field!
50. How did the Maryland crab become a writer? It had a “claw”-ful way with words!
51. What did the Chesapeake Bay say to the Chesapeake Bay Bridge? You’re “shorely” the best!
52. Why did the Marylander take a fishing net to the concert? To catch the “drum” beats!
53. How does a Marylander organize their closet? With a “crab”-inet!
54. What did the Baltimore Ravens say to the touchdown? That’s “raven”-dous!
55. Why did the Maryland crab become a comedian? It had “claws”-ome jokes!
56. What do you call a crab that loves fashion? A “crab”-ionista!
57. Why did the Baltimore Orioles bring a picnic basket to the game? They wanted a “catch”-nic!
58. How did the Maryland crab become a musician? It had a “claw”-some talent!
59. What did the Chesapeake Bay say to the sailboats? Let’s “bay”-navigate together!
60. Why did the Marylander bring a fishing rod to the amusement park? To catch some “rollercoast”-al fish!
61. How does a Marylander do their makeup? With a touch of “claw”-smetics!
62. What did the Baltimore Ravens say to the football stadium? Let’s make this “raven”-tacular!
63. Why did the Maryland crab become a magician? It had “claws”-ome tricks!
64. What do you call a crab that loves to sing? A “crab”-io!
65. Why did the Baltimore Orioles bring a blanket to the game? They wanted a “warm”-up!
66. How did the Maryland crab become a chef? It had a “claw”-some culinary skill!
67. What did the Chesapeake Bay say to the fishermen? Catch and release, don’t “bay”-ther me!
68. Why did the Marylander bring a fishing net to the theater? To catch the “big catch” movie!
69. How does a Marylander decorate their home? With a touch of “crab”-stic flair!
70. What did the Baltimore Ravens say to the touchdown dance? That’s “raven”-tastic!
71. Why did the Maryland crab become a poet? It had a “claws”-ical way with words!
72. What do you call a crab that loves to act? A “claw”-mer!
73. Why did the Baltimore Orioles bring a tent to the game? They wanted a “pitch”-perfect experience!
74. How did the Maryland crab become an athlete? It had a “claw”-ful lot of talent!
75. What did the Chesapeake Bay say to the boaters? Stay “bay”-calm and sail on!
