Hey there fellow Long Islanders! Are you looking for some good laughs that only us locals will understand? I mean, who doesn’t love poking fun at the quirks of living in this unique area? Lucky for you, I’ve got 75 hilarious jokes to share that will have you rolling on the floor with laughter.
So buckle up and get ready for some major belly laughs as we dive into the world of Long Island humor!
List of Jokes About Long Island
1. Why did the Long Islander bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
2. What do you call a Long Islander with a sense of humor? A comedian-tuckian!
3. Why did the Long Islander bring a flashlight to the beach? Because they wanted to find a “shore” thing!
4. How does a Long Islander order their coffee? “I’ll take it with a shot of accent, please!”
5. Why did the Long Islander become an architect? Because they love “building” up the community!
6. What’s a Long Islander’s favorite type of pasta? Penne-sula!
7. Why do Long Islanders make great detectives? Because they know how to “uncover” the truth!
8. What did the Long Islander say to their reflection? “I can’t compete with this much awesomeness!”
9. Why did the Long Islander become a gardener? Because they love “rooting” for the underdogs!
10. How does a Long Islander answer the phone? “Ahoy, matey!”
11. Why did the Long Islander become a musician? Because they wanted to “rock” the island!
12. What do you call a Long Islander who can solve any problem? A “suburban” solver!
13. Why did the Long Islander bring a ladder to the library? Because they heard the books had high shelves!
14. What’s a Long Islander’s favorite type of cheese? Feta-mont!
15. Why do Long Islanders make great sailors? Because they can navigate any “sound”!
16. What did the Long Islander say to their car? “I wheel-y love you!”
17. Why did the Long Islander start a bakery? Because they kneaded a job!
18. What’s a Long Islander’s favorite winter activity? Ice “Long” skating!
19. Why did the Long Islander become a teacher? Because they love seeing “light bulbs” go off in students’ minds!
20. How does a Long Islander style their hair? With a lot of “shore”-spray!
21. What did the Long Islander say to their GPS? “Turn right at the next vineyard!”
22. Why did the Long Islander become an astronaut? Because they wanted to reach for the “stars” on the East Coast!
23. What’s a Long Islander’s favorite board game? Monopoly… on the Hamptons edition!
24. Why did the Long Islander become a fisherman? Because they love the “reel” tranquility of the water!
25. How does a Long Islander like their steak cooked? Medium “Island”!
26. What did the Long Islander say to their computer? “Please don’t crash, I have so many beach photos!”
27. Why did the Long Islander start a clothing line? Because they wanted to make fashion “shore”!
28. What’s a Long Islander’s favorite superhero? Captain “Merman”!
29. Why did the Long Islander bring a spoon to the concert? Because they heard the band was “jamming”!
30. How does a Long Islander handle a heatwave? They head straight to the beach and say, “Bring on the sun!”
31. What did the Long Islander say to the sandcastle? “You’re not the only one who’s built to last!”
32. Why did the Long Islander become a comedian? Because they love to “crack up” the island!
33. What’s a Long Islander’s favorite type of cookie? Sandwiches… with “sun”flower seed butter!
34. Why did the Long Islander become a psychologist? Because they wanted to solve everyone’s “beachy” problems!
35. How does a Long Islander greet their friends? “Hey, pal, long time, no “sea”!”
36. What did the Long Islander say to the seagull? “Don’t you dare steal my fries!”
37. Why did the Long Islander start a vineyard? Because they wanted to “wine” down after a long day!
38. What’s a Long Islander’s favorite type of sandwich? A “sub” with extra attitude!
39. Why did the Long Islander become a lifeguard? Because they’re always ready to make a “splash”!
40. How does a Long Islander celebrate a birthday? With a party that’s “shore” to be unforgettable!
41. What did the Long Islander say to the seashell? “You’re one in a “shell”ion!”
42. Why did the Long Islander become a chef? Because they love to “stir up” some amazing dishes!
43. What’s a Long Islander’s favorite mode of transportation? A surf-“board”!
44. Why did the Long Islander become a mathematician? Because they love “counting” the days until summer!
45. How does a Long Islander clean their house? With a lot of “tide”-ous effort!
46. What did the Long Islander say to the clam? “You’re my “pearl” of the shore!”
47. Why did the Long Islander start a bookstore? Because they wanted to spread the love for “shore” stories!
48. What’s a Long Islander’s favorite fruit? Melon-collie!
49. Why did the Long Islander become a fitness instructor? Because they love to “shore” up people’s health!
50. How does a Long Islander take their tea? With a side of “beach” and a splash of lemon!
51. What did the Long Islander say to their bicycle? “Let’s ride off into the sunset, shall we?”
52. Why did the Long Islander start a jewelry business? Because they wanted to make “shore” everyone sparkled!
53. What’s a Long Islander’s favorite hobby? Collecting seashells and “surf”-ing the web!
54. Why did the Long Islander become a gardener? Because they have a green thumb and a “shore” temper!
55. How does a Long Islander relax after a long day? They kick back with a glass of wine and say, “Ahhh, life’s a “beach”!”
56. What did the Long Islander say to the pineapple? “You’re my tropical “bromance”!”
57. Why did the Long Islander start a construction company? Because they love to “build” castles in the sand!
58. What’s a Long Islander’s favorite dessert? Sandy “shore” cake!
59. Why did the Long Islander become a photographer? Because they love to capture the “waves” of life!
60. How does a Long Islander stay fit? They do “shore”-obics every morning!
61. What did the Long Islander say to the oyster? “You’re my “pearl” of the sea!”
62. Why did the Long Islander start a fashion blog? Because they wanted to showcase their “shore” style!
63. What’s a Long Islander’s favorite movie genre? “Beach” dramas!
64. Why did the Long Islander become a beekeeper? Because they wanted to create buzz on the island!
65. How does a Long Islander handle traffic? They turn up the radio and sing along to “Island” tunes!
66. What did the Long Islander say to the coconut? “You’re my tropical treasure!”
67. Why did the Long Islander start a dance studio? Because they love to “shore” off their moves!
68. What’s a Long Islander’s favorite type of soup? Chow-“dah” with a side of beach vibes!
69. Why did the Long Islander become a poet? Because they wanted to express the “shore” beauty of the island!
70. How does a Long Islander organize their closet? By sorting everything into “beachy” categories!
71. What did the Long Islander say to the palm tree? “You’re my “shady” companion!”
72. Why did the Long Islander start a pet grooming salon? Because they wanted to make sure every furry friend looked “beach”-tiful!
73. What’s a Long Islander’s favorite type of pie? “Sandy” apple!
74. Why did the Long Islander become a painter? Because they love to “brush” up on their skills!
75. How does a Long Islander enjoy a rainy day? They curl up with a good book and say, “Rain or shine, it’s always “shore” cozy!”
