Hey, are you on the hunt for some new lawyer jokes? Well, look no further! I’ve searched far and wide to bring you 15 of the most side-splitting legal puns around. And don’t worry about offending anyone – these jokes are all in good fun. Besides, if lawyers can’t laugh at themselves or their profession, then what’s the point? From witty courtroom quips to clever office jabs at your local attorney, each punchline is sure to leave you rolling with laughter. And as a seasoned attorney myself, I know how to spot a great legal joke when I hear one. So sit back and get ready for some serious belly laughs with these hilarious lawyer jokes!
List of Jokes About Lawyers
1. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t know the law? A justice of the peace.
2. How many lawyer jokes are there? Only three. The rest are true stories.
3. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
4. Why did the lawyer break up with his girlfriend? She had too many liabilities.
5. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A vampire only sucks blood at night.
6. What do you call a lawyer who can play the piano? An attorney at music.
7. Why did the lawyer wear a neck brace to court? He wanted to show he had a lot of legal support.
8. How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Just say “Fees!”
9. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.
10. Why did the lawyer become a baker? He wanted to make more dough.
11. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t pass the bar exam? Bar tender.
12. Why did the lawyer go to the beach? He heard there was a new wave of litigation.
13. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your Honor.
14. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee? A boxing referee doesn’t get paid more for a longer fight.
15. Why did the lawyer get a ticket while driving to court? He tried to pass the bar.
16. What do you call a lawyer who represents himself in court? A fool for a client.
17. Why did the lawyer take up gardening? He wanted to grow some legal tender.
18. What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator.
19. How does a lawyer sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
20. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of sheep? The sheep are easier to fleece.
21. Why did the lawyer get kicked off the soccer team? He kept trying to pass the buck.
22. What do you call a lawyer who can’t find a job? A motionless attorney.
23. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech? After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
24. Why did the lawyer go to the gym? To exercise his legal rights.
25. What do you call a lawyer who loves to argue? Normal.
26. Why did the lawyer become a baseball coach? He knows the drill.
27. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger. The other is a fish.
28. What do you call a lawyer who can juggle? An ambulance chaser with good hand-eye coordination.
29. Why did the lawyer get a pet skunk? He wanted to improve his legal briefs.
30. What do you call a lawyer who loves to shop? Sue-per shopper.
31. Why did the lawyer become a chef? He wanted to serve up justice.
32. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a rooster? A rooster clucks defiance, a lawyer ducks compliance.
33. What do you call a lawyer who’s also a magician? Habeas Corpus Cadabra.
34. Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to court? He wanted to reach a higher court.
35. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of elephants? The elephants work for peanuts.
36. Why did the lawyer become a DJ? He wanted to drop some legal beats.
37. What do you call a lawyer who can dance? An attorney at disco.
38. Why did the lawyer go to the zoo? He wanted to study the legal eagles.
39. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a tornado? A tornado eventually stops spinning.
40. Why did the lawyer become a fisherman? He wanted to catch some legal bass.
41. What do you call a lawyer who’s also a stand-up comedian? An attorney at laughs.
42. Why did the lawyer become a detective? He wanted to solve legal mysteries.
43. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? One is spineless, venomous, and slimy. The other is a jellyfish.
44. Why did the lawyer go to the art museum? He wanted to see the legal exhibits.
45. What do you call a lawyer who’s also a plumber? A drain on society.
46. Why did the lawyer become a farmer? He wanted to grow some legal crops.
47. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? A vulture doesn’t get frequent flyer miles.
48. Why did the lawyer become a pilot? He wanted to take his practice to new heights.
49. What do you call a lawyer who’s also a chef? An attorney at fork.
50. Why did the lawyer become a librarian? He wanted to organize the legal volumes.
51. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
52. Why did the lawyer become a marathon runner? He wanted to go the extra mile for his clients.
53. What do you call a lawyer who’s also a musician? An attorney at chords.
54. Why did the lawyer become a tour guide? He wanted to show people the legal landmarks.
55. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a cold-blooded predator, and the other is a fish.
