Are you a hockey enthusiast looking for some off-ice entertainment? Perhaps you’re just aiming to impress your pals with some witty quips during game night. Look no further, because I’ve got the perfect solution! As a seasoned hockey fanatic myself, I understand that humor is crucial to any sporting event.
That’s why I’ve created this list of 75 side-splitting jokes about hockey that are guaranteed to make you chuckle. From clever wordplay utilizing players’ names to humorous observations about the sport itself, these jokes will leave everyone in hysterics. So let’s lace up and get ready for a laugh-a-minute experience!
List of Jokes About Hockey
1. Why was the hockey player always so cold? Because they always wore their fans!
2. What did the puck say to the stick? “You complete me!”
3. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? Because they wanted to reach the high-sticking level!
4. What do you call a hockey player who doesn’t shower? A stinker in the rink!
5. Why do hockey players never invest in stocks? Because they’re always looking for high returns on ice!
6. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. What do you call a bear with no teeth playing hockey? A gummy bear on ice!
7. Why did the hockey player go to jail? Because they got caught cross-checking!
8. How do hockey players stay cool during a game? They stand near the fans!
9. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? They wanted to tie the score!
10. Why don’t hockey players like baking? Because they always get called for high-sticking!
11. Why did the hockey team go to the bakery? They wanted some turnovers!
12. What do you call a dog playing hockey? A pup-slap!
13. What did the coach say to the hockey puck? “Don’t be so puckish!”
14. Why don’t hockey players ever get lost? Because they always find their way around the ice!
15. Why was the hockey rink so noisy? Because all the fans were going wild!
16. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of cookie? Slap shots!
17. Why did the hockey player go to school? To get a little extra ice time!
18. How do hockey players stay warm during the game? They wear their best slapshot!
19. What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “You’re really net-tastic!”
20. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? They wanted to be a high-sticking champion!
21. Why was the hockey player so good at math? They knew how to calculate the power plays!
22. Why don’t hockey players ever tell secrets on the ice? The walls have ears!
23. How did the hockey player know the arena was haunted? They kept hearing ghost goals!
24. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of dance? The slapshot shuffle!
25. Why don’t hockey players like to date musicians? Because they’re always playing around!
26. What do you call a dinosaur playing hockey? A slap-terodactyl!
27. Why did the hockey team hire a musician? They wanted some slap-bass in their game!
28. How do hockey players keep their hair in place? With goalie locks!
29. Why did the hockey player bring a pencil to the game? They wanted to draw the defense!
30. What do you call a hockey player who can sing? A puck star!
31. Why was the hockey player always so funny? They had great slapstick!
32. What do you call a hockey player with no teeth? A toothless slapshot!
33. Why was the hockey player such a good artist? They knew how to draw penalties!
34. How do hockey players eat their food? With their stick-hand!
35. Why don’t hockey players like to share their snacks? Because they’re always sticklers for food!
36. What do you call a hockey player who can’t score? An ice breaker!
37. Why did the hockey team go to the grocery store? They wanted to pick up some icing!
38. How do hockey players keep their skates in great shape? They give them a good toe-pick-me-up!
39. Why did the hockey player bring a shovel to the game? They wanted to dig deep for a win!
40. What do you call a hockey player who always gets hurt? A regular in the penalty box!
41. Why did the hockey team invite a clown to their practice? They wanted some comedy in their slapshots!
42. What do you call a hockey player who loves to read? A bookie on ice!
43. Why was the hockey player always so tired? They never got a break!
44. How do hockey players get their exercise? They do a lot of skating drills!
45. What do you call a hockey player with a broken stick? An incomplete pass!
46. Why did the hockey team go to the farm? They wanted to practice their cow-tipping shots!
47. How do hockey players clean their uniforms? They use lots of ice detergent!
48. Why did the hockey player bring a candle to the game? In case they wanted to light the lamp!
49. What do you call a hockey player with a green thumb? A slap-shot farmer!
50. Why did the hockey team invite a chef to their game? They wanted to spice up their shots!
51. How do hockey players make phone calls? They use their cell-e sticks!
52. What do you call a hockey player with bad vision? An ice-sore!
53. Why did the hockey team hire a meteorologist? They wanted to score some thunder and lightning goals!
54. How do hockey players pay for their snacks? With their creddit cards!
55. What do you call a hockey player who’s always late? A delayed offside!
56. Why did the hockey player bring a broom to the game? They wanted to sweep the competition!
57. What do you call a hockey player who loves to gamble? A high-stakes shooter!
58. How do hockey players make their coffee? With lots of ice-shots!
59. Why did the hockey team hire a gardener? They wanted to grow their power plays!
60. What do you call a hockey player with a lot of hair gel? A slick-pass specialist!
61. Why did the hockey player bring a feather to the game? They wanted to tickle the twine!
62. How do hockey players make decisions? They put it to a puck-poll vote!
63. What do you call a hockey player who can’t find their equipment? Lost in the sin-bin!
64. Why did the hockey team go to the beach? They wanted to practice their sand-wedge shots!
65. How do hockey players keep their cool during a fight? They always stay ice-calm!
66. What do you call a hockey player who loves to garden? A slapshot horticulturist!
67. Why did the hockey player bring a wrench to the game? They wanted to tighten their defense!
68. How do hockey players fix their broken equipment? With lots of ice-patches!
69. What do you call a hockey player with perfect vision? The puck-perception champion!
70. Why did the hockey team invite a magician to their game? They wanted to see some incredible hat tricks!
71. How do hockey players apologize? They say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cross-check you!”
72. What do you call a hockey player with a great sense of humor? The team’s comedic assist leader!
73. Why did the hockey player bring a map to the game? They didn’t want to get lost on the ice!
74. How do hockey players stay stylish? They always wear their skate-chic!
75. What do you call a hockey player with amazing reflexes? A lightning-fast blocker!
