Hello there, friend! Feeling a little down in the dumps? Fear not, for I have something special that’s sure to perk you right up. How does a good old-fashioned chuckle sound? Pretty great, huh? Especially when those giggles are all about our beloved beverage: coffee. Ah yes, that magical elixir we all crave and need like oxygen itself.
Well, I’ve done some serious sleuthing on the interwebs and dug up some of the most hilarious coffee one-liners around. And let me tell ya, these jokes are caffeinated with silly goodness! In this article, I’ll be sharing over 20 of these top-rated gems to give you an instant mood boost. Whether you’re looking for a quick laugh before starting your day or wanting to entertain friends at your next brunch gathering (hello mimosa bar!), these witty quips will do just the trick.
So come on now and join me on this fun-filled journey as we dive into some seriously brew-tiful humor!
List of Jokes About Coffee
1. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
2. What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.
3. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
4. What do you call a cow that’s just given birth? De-calf-inated.
5. Why don’t ants drink coffee? Because it keeps them up all night.
6. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
7. What did the coffee say when it got a parking ticket? “I can’t espresso how much this annoys me.”
8. What do you call a fake coffee? A de-coy.
9. Why did the coffee refuse to get a job? It didn’t want to be grounds for dismissal.
10. What do you call a coffee that’s always getting into trouble? A latte-rouble.
11. How does a tech guy drink coffee? In Wi-Fi mode.
12. What do you call a coffee that’s been kidnapped? An expresso.
13. Why did the coffee bean go to the doctor? It was feeling a little roast.
14. What did the coffee say to the cream? “I can’t espresso how much I love you.”
15. Why did the coffee need a lawyer? It was getting sued for being too hot.
16. What do you call a group of coffee aficionados? A brew-haha.
17. Why did the coffee go to the police station? It got mugged again.
18. What did the coffee say to the tea? “You brew my mind.”
19. Why don’t ghosts drink coffee? It goes right through them.
20. What do you call a coffee that plays guitar? A latte-da.
21. Why did the coffee go to the gym? To get a latte muscle.
22. What do you call a coffee that’s always late? A procrastination.
23. What did the coffee say to the donut? “You complete me.”
24. Why did the coffee need a passport? It was traveling to the French press.
25. What do you call a coffee that has a cold? A cough-ee.
26. Why did the coffee bean say no to a date? It was already roasted.
27. What did the coffee say when it got a text? “I can’t espresso how much I love you!”
28. Why did the coffee break up with the tea? It found a better blend.
29. What do you call a coffee that’s been frozen? A chill brew.
30. Why did the coffee go to the beach? To get a tan-america.
31. What did the coffee say to the coffee filter? “Don’t strain yourself.”
32. Why did the coffee go to the therapist? It had too much steam to handle.
33. What do you call a coffee that’s been to space? An astro-latte.
34. Why did the coffee go to the eye doctor? It had bean seeing things.
35. What did the coffee say when it met the creamer? “You’re cream of the crop.”
36. Why did the coffee file a restraining order? The creamer was too clingy.
37. What do you call a coffee that’s been married before? A re-latte-ionship.
38. What did the coffee say to the coffee cup? “You’re my mug-nificent other half.”
39. Why did the coffee go to the dentist? It had a latte cavities.
40. What do you call a coffee that’s been on a diet? A slim brew.
41. Why did the coffee go to the bar? To get a shot of cream.
42. What did the coffee say to the espresso? “Hey shorty.”
43. Why don’t aliens drink coffee? It’s too earth-y.
44. What do you call a coffee that’s been betrayed? A back-stab-bean.
45. Why did the coffee go to the music festival? To see the bean band.
46. What did the coffee say when it saw a doughnut? “Donut talk to me until I’ve had my coffee.”
47. Why did the coffee break up with the sugar? It was too sweet.
48. What do you call a group of coffee lovers that meet regularly? The caffeine club.
49. Why did the coffee go to the hospital? It had a caffeine overdose.
50. What did the coffee say when it saw the tea again? “Long time, no tea!”
51. Why don’t cats drink coffee? They prefer a purr-fect brew.
52. What do you call a coffee that’s been lost for years? A brew-ski.
53. Why did the coffee go to the art exhibit? To see the espresso yourself section.
54. What did the coffee say to the milk? “Thanks for being a part of my daily grind.”
55. Why did the coffee go to the amusement park? To ride the roller-roast-er.
