When it comes to Canada and the USA, there’s no denying we have a special bond. We may bicker like siblings, but at the end of the day, we know deep down that we couldn’t function without each other. I’m thrilled to share with you 75 jokes about our unique relationship!
Whether you hail from north or south of the border, there’s something undeniably amusing about how our two countries differ…and what brings us together.
List of Jokes About Canada vs Usa
1. Why did the Canadian hockey player bring a ladder to the game? Because he heard the competition was fierce and he wanted to climb the ranks!
2. Why did the American football player bring a pencil to the game? Because he heard it was a “draw”!
3. What did the Canadian say to the American after winning a game of hockey? “Sorry about that, eh? Better luck next time!”
4. What did the American say to the Canadian after winning a game of baseball? “You struck out, buddy! Better luck next inning!”
5. How do Canadians and Americans greet each other during a hockey game? With a “puck you” and a “stick it”!
6. Why did the Canadian cross the border to the United States? To prove that “Eh”-merican dreams can come true!
7. Why did the American cross the border to Canada? To experience the “Great White North” and say “Sore-y” instead of “Sorry”!
8. What do you call a Canadian who can’t play hockey? A “puck-abee”!
9. What do you call an American who can’t play baseball? A “strikeout McStrikeface”!
10. Why do Canadians never win at poker? Because they can’t stop apologizing for bluffing!
11. Why do Americans always win at poker? Because they’re experts at “trump”ing their opponents!
12. How do you spot a Canadian at a baseball game? They’re the ones wearing a toque instead of a baseball cap!
13. How do you spot an American at a hockey game? They’re the ones wearing a cowboy hat instead of a hockey helmet!
14. What did the Canadian say to the American at the Winter Olympics? “We’ll ice you out on the rink, but we’ll still share maple syrup at the end of the day!”
15. What did the American say to the Canadian at the Summer Olympics? “We’ll sizzle on the track, but we’ll still have a barbecue together!”
16. Why did the Canadian bring a moose to the soccer match? To show off their impressive “header”!
17. Why did the American bring an eagle to the soccer match? To demonstrate their “flying” skills!
18. How do Canadians apologize for a bad golf shot? “Fore-give me, eh?”
19. How do Americans celebrate a hole-in-one? With a big ol’ high-five and a “par-ty”!
20. What do Canadians call a basketball hoop? A “hoopski”!
21. What do Americans call a hockey goal? A “netflix and goal”!
22. Why did the Canadian tennis player bring maple syrup to the match? For some sweet “serve” and volley!
23. Why did the American tennis player bring a burger to the match? For some “love” and sets!
24. Why did the Canadian bring a canoe to the swimming competition? They thought it was a “paddle” race!
25. Why did the American bring a surfboard to the swimming competition? They wanted to “ride the wave” to victory!
26. How do Canadians and Americans settle disputes in a canoe race? By engaging in a “paddle battle”!
27. How do Canadians and Americans settle disputes in a car race? With a good ol’ “NASCAR-nadian” showdown!
28. What do you call a Canadian basketball team playing against an American basketball team? The “North and South” showdown!
29. Why did the Canadian basketball team wear snow boots on the court? They wanted to make sure they had good “traction”!
30. Why did the American basketball team wear sunglasses on the court? They wanted to block out the “3-point-sun”!
31. Why did the Canadian golfer bring a hockey stick to the golf course? For some “putt-putt puck” action!
32. Why did the American golfer bring a baseball bat to the golf course? For some “swing and a hit”!
33. What do you call a Canadian sprinter who runs a marathon? A “running mountie”!
34. What do you call an American sprinter who runs a marathon? A “marathon marvel”!
35. Why did the Canadian wrestler challenge the American wrestler to a match? Because they wanted to prove that the “North is strong”!
36. Why did the American wrestler challenge the Canadian wrestler to a match? Because they wanted to show off their “stars and stripes”!
37. What did the Canadian say to the American about their skiing skills? “We may have the ‘eh’ factor, but you’ve got the ‘ski-lled’ factor!”
38. What did the American say to the Canadian about their skiing skills? “We may not have the ‘eh’ factor, but we’ve got the ‘speed’ factor!”
39. Why did the Canadian runner apologize after winning the race? Because they didn’t want to “run-over” anyone’s feelings!
40. Why did the American runner celebrate after winning the race? Because they wanted to “race” their arms in victory!
41. How do Canadians and Americans settle disputes in a curling match? With some “rock and broom” action!
42. How do Canadians and Americans settle disputes in a soccer match? With some “kick and banter”!
43. What do you call a Canadian skateboarder? A “shred maple”!
44. What do you call an American skateboarder? A “kickflip Yankee”!
45. Why did the Canadian gymnast apologize during the routine? They wanted to make sure they “stick” to politeness!
46. Why did the American gymnast celebrate during the routine? They wanted to show off their “flippin’ awesome” moves!
47. How do Canadians and Americans settle disputes in a volleyball match? With some “serve and spikology”!
48. How do Canadians and Americans settle disputes in a basketball game? With some “dunk and trash-talk”!
49. What did the Canadian say to the American after winning a game of soccer? “We kicked it, eh? Let’s grab some poutine to celebrate!”
50. What did the American say to the Canadian after winning a game of football? “Touchdown! We nailed it! Let’s have a barbecue to celebrate!”
51. Why did the Canadian shooter bring a hockey stick to the shooting range? For some “target puck-ing”!
52. Why did the American shooter bring a baseball bat to the shooting range? For some “aim and swing”!
53. How do Canadians and Americans settle disputes in a swimming competition? With some “splash and rivalry”!
54. How do Canadians and Americans settle disputes in a track and field competition? With some “sprint and jump” rivalry!
55. What did the Canadian say to the American after winning a game of tennis? “Game, set, match, eh? Let’s go have some beavertails!”
56. What did the American say to the Canadian after winning a game of golf? “Hole in one! Let’s go have some burgers and fries!”
57. Why did the Canadian marathon runner carry a flag during the race? To proudly wave the “maple leaf” while running!
58. Why did the American marathon runner carry a torch during the race? To symbolize the “flame of victory”!
59. How do Canadians and Americans settle disputes in a table tennis match? With some “ping and paddle” rivalry!
60. How do Canadians and Americans settle disputes in a badminton match? With some “birdie and rivalry”!
61. What did the Canadian say to the American after winning a game of boxing? “Knocked ’em out, eh? Let’s go grab some Timbits!”
62. What did the American say to the Canadian after winning a game of wrestling? “Pinned ’em down! Let’s go grab some pizza!”
63. Why did the Canadian weightlifter apologize after lifting a heavy weight? They didn’t want to “press” anyone’s feelings!
64. Why did the American weightlifter celebrate after lifting a heavy weight? They wanted to show off their “powerhouse” strength!
65. How do Canadians and Americans settle disputes in a rugby match? With some “tackle and rivalry”!
66. How do Canadians and Americans settle disputes in a cricket match? With some “bat and banter”!
67. What did the Canadian say to the American after winning a game of basketball? “We scored some ‘hoopskis’! Let’s go grab some poutine!”
68. What did the American say to the Canadian after winning a game of hockey? “We scored some ‘slapshots’! Let’s go have some burgers!”
69. Why did the Canadian cyclist apologize after winning the race? They didn’t want to “pedal” over anyone’s feelings!
70. Why did the American cyclist celebrate after winning the race? They wanted to show off their “speed demon” skills!
71. How do Canadians and Americans settle disputes in a rowing competition? With some “oar and rivalry”!
72. How do Canadians and Americans settle disputes in a fencing match? With some “foil and rivalry”!
73. What did the Canadian say to the American after winning a game of swimming? “We made a splash, eh? Let’s go have some maple syrup!”
74. What did the American say to the Canadian after winning a game of track and field? “We ran it to victory! Let’s go have some hot dogs!”
75. Why did the Canadian archer apologize after hitting the bullseye? They didn’t want to “arrow-gantly” show off!
