Hey there! Alabama, are you ready to have a good laugh? Or maybe you’re just someone who appreciates a hilarious joke no matter where it’s from. Either way, I’ve got something special for you! As an expert copywriter, I’ve searched far and wide to bring you 75 of the funniest jokes about our great state. Brace yourself for some serious LOLs!
Before we dive in though, let’s address the elephant in the room – stereotypes. We all know that being from Alabama means dealing with certain assumptions: we talk funny, love football (Roll Tide!), and can’t live without sweet tea. But don’t worry; even if others don’t get us sometimes, we know deep down how awesome our state is.
So leave those worries behind and join me on a journey through classic one-liners and witty puns about everything from Sweet Home Alabama to our beloved SEC teams. These jokes are sure to brighten up your day whether you need a quick chuckle or something more substantial to lift your spirits.
Now sit back and relax – these jokes will make even the grumpiest Alabamians crack a smile!
List of Jokes About Alabama
1. Why did the Alabama football team go to the bakery? They needed a good roll.
2. What do you call an Alabama girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
3. How do you confuse an Alabamian? Put them in a round room and tell them to pee in the corner.
4. Why don’t they teach sex education and driver’s education on the same day in Alabama? It’s too hard on the mule.
5. What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm? A pimp.
6. Why don’t they have ice cubes in Alabama? The guy with the recipe died.
7. Why don’t people in Alabama use 911 in an emergency? They can’t find the 11 on the phone.
8. What do you call a pretty girl in Alabama? A tourist.
9. Why did the Alabama graduate stare at the can of orange juice? Because it said “concentrate.”
10. How do you know if someone is from Alabama? They can properly pronounce “Tuscaloosa.”
11. What’s the difference between a tornado and an Alabama divorce? Nothing. Either way, someone is losing a trailer.
12. Why do ducks fly over Alabama upside down? There’s nothing worth crapping on!
13. What does a tornado in Alabama sound like? Daaaaaaad!
14. Why did the Alabama football team go to a Broadway musical? To see the “Tide” turn.
15. How do you break up with an Alabamian? You tell them their sister is hotter.
16. Why don’t they have fireworks at Alabama football games? Because the cheerleaders keep lighting the fuses.
17. What’s the difference between an Alabama girl and a walrus? One has whiskers and smells of fish, and the other is a walrus.
18. Why do Alabama football players use body spray? Because it’s easier than taking a shower.
19. How do you get an Alabamian off your front porch? Pay for the pizza.
20. Why don’t they play hide and seek in Alabama? Because no one wants to look for the missing teeth.
21. What do you call an Alabama fan with a championship ring? A thief.
22. Why do Alabama fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces.
23. What’s the difference between a bucket of crap and an Alabama fan? The bucket.
24. How do you get an Alabama fan to laugh on Saturday? Tell them a joke on Wednesday.
25. What do Alabama fans use as birth control? Their personalities.
26. What do you call an Alabamian with a sheep under each arm? A pimp.
27. What’s the difference between an Alabamian and a coconut? You can get a drink out of a coconut.
28. Why did the Alabamian go to the liquor store? To get his bottle returned.
29. How do you know if a redneck is married in Alabama? There’s tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
30. Why did the Alabamian sit on the clock? He wanted to be on “watch”!
31. Why do Alabamians only do their laundry in the winter? Because the detergent says “cold-water wash”!
32. What do you call a redneck bursting into flames in Alabama? A firecracker!
33. How do you know when an Alabamian has sent you a fax? There’s a stamp on it.
34. Why did the Alabamian take a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
35. What did the Alabama sheriff say to the farmer who accused him of stealing his sheep? “Prove it!”
36. What do you call an Alabamian who can’t play sports? The referee.
37. How do you know if someone went to an Alabama university? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
38. Why did the Alabama couple get married in Walmart? They wanted to register for their own wedding gifts.
39. What’s an Alabamian’s idea of safe sex? Placing signs on the animals that kick.
40. How does an Alabamian find a sheep in tall grass? Very satisfying.
41. What do you call a building full of Alabama graduates? A maximum security prison.
42. How do you circumcise an Alabama guy? Kick his sister in the jaw.
43. Why don’t Alabamians need more than one bookmark? They just bend the corners of the page.
44. What’s the difference between an Alabamian and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.
45. Why do Alabamians laugh three times at a joke? Once when it’s told, once when it’s explained to them, and once when they understand it.
46. Why did the Alabamian become a computer engineer? Because he heard there were buses in the computer.
47. Why do Alabamians bury their dead 12 feet deep? Because deep down, they’re really nice people.
48. How does an Alabamian find a lost sheep? They ask their cousin for directions.
49. Why do Alabamians love yard sales? It’s the only time they can see their family tree.
50. Why did the Alabama chicken go to the seance? To talk to Colonel Sanders’ ghost.
51. What do you call an Alabamian who owns three cows? A rancher and a farmer.
52. Why did the Alabama football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback some change.
53. How do you turn an Alabamian on? Show them a tractor calendar.
54. What do you call an Alabamian who can’t swim? A lifeguard’s worst nightmare.
55. Why don’t Alabamians use elevators? They don’t trust anything that lifts them up without a pickup truck.
56. How many Alabamians does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they prefer to sit in the dark and drink beer.
57. What do you call an Alabamian who can’t read? A politician.
58. Why don’t Alabamians use coffee filters? They prefer to strain it through their teeth.
59. What’s an Alabamian’s favorite exercise? Running after their cousin.
60. Why don’t Alabamians play chess? They can’t tell the difference between a bishop and a sister.
61. What did the Alabama sheriff say to the farmer who accused him of stealing his sheep? Prove it!
62. Why don’t they have fireworks at Alabama football games? Because the cheerleaders keep blowing them up.
63. How do you sink an Alabama battleship? Put it in water.
64. Why did the Alabamian stare at the orange juice container? It said “concentrate.”
65. What do you call a beautiful girl in Alabama? A visitor.
66. Why did the Alabama football team go to the bakery? To get their daily roll.
67. How do you know if someone is from Alabama? They have a trailer hitch on their belt buckle.
68. What do you call an Alabama girl who can run faster than her brothers? A virgin.
69. Why don’t they teach driver’s education and sex education on the same day in Alabama? It’s too hard on the mule.
70. What’s the most confusing day in Alabama? Father’s Day.
71. Why don’t Alabamians ever go to the beach? Because they can’t find the sand that matches their flip-flops.
72. What do you call a redneck bursting into flames in Alabama? A firecracker.
73. How do you know if an Alabamian is married? There’s tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
74. Why don’t Alabamians use 911 in emergencies? They can’t find the “eleven” on the phone.
75. Why did the Alabamian take a ladder to the bar? Because the drinks were on the house.
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