Are you in the mood for a good chuckle? I’ve got some seriously funny jokes that are sure to make you laugh out loud. I have come up with 75 rib-tickling Houston Texans gags that will leave you wanting more.
From teasing the team’s less-than-stellar moments to rejoicing in their triumphs, these one-liners are guaranteed to put a grin on your face. Who knows, by the end of it all, you might even be inspired to share some laughs with your buddies at the next tailgate party.
List of Houston Texans Jokes
1. Why did the Houston Texans bring a ladder to the game? Because they heard the competition was climbing!
2. What do you call a Texans player with a Super Bowl ring? A thief!
3. Why did the Texans bring a car to the game? Because they heard they needed some drive!
4. How do you stop a Texans fan from hitting on you? You marry them!
5. Why did the Texans player go to the bank? To check if his check had cleared yet!
6. Why did the Texans player bring a pencil to the game? Because he wanted to draw some attention!
7. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to reach new lows!
8. What do you call a Texans fan with half a brain? Gifted!
9. Why did the Texans player sit on the clock during the game? He wanted to be a “second” stringer!
10. Why did the Texans hire a meteorologist? Because they needed someone to predict their chances of winning!
11. What do you call a Texans player with a championship ring? A former player!
12. Why did the Texans player bring a spoon to the game? Because he heard they were serving up defeat!
13. Why did the Texans player go to the bank? To get his quarterback some change!
14. What’s the difference between the Texans and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar!
15. Why did the Texans player go to the casino? To play the slot receivers!
16. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he thought it was a step up from last season!
17. What do you call a Texans player with a successful career? A retired player!
18. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to climb to the top of the division!
19. Why did the Texans player go to the bank? To get some change for their game plan!
20. What do you call a Texans player with a Pro Bowl appearance? A rare achievement!
21. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to climb out of the cellar!
22. What do you call a Texans player with a Pro Bowl appearance? A visitor!
23. What do you call a Texans player with a touchdown? Shocked!
24. Why did the Texans player go to the bank? To deposit their hopes for a winning season!
25. Why did the Texans player go to the bank? To see if they could loan him some talent!
26. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to escape their losing streak!
27. What do you call a Texans player with a touchdown? Surprised!
28. What’s the difference between the Texans and a penny? A penny has more value!
29. Why did the Texans player go to the bank? To withdraw from their pool of talent!
30. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to climb out of the cellar of the NFL!
31. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to climb to the top of the standings!
32. What do you call a Texans player with a Pro Bowl appearance? Unlikely!
33. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he thought it would help him reach the end zone!
34. What do you call a Texans player with a Pro Bowl invitation? Part of a very small group!
35. Why did the Texans player bring a spoon to the game? Because he wanted to stir up some trouble for the opposing team!
36. Why did the Texans player go to the bank? To see if they could loan him a defense!
37. What’s the difference between the Texans and a penny? A penny is still considered currency!
38. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to climb the ranks of the AFC South!
39. What do you call a Texans player with a touchdown celebration? Practice!
40. Why did the Texans player bring a spoon to the game? Because he heard they were serving up interceptions!
41. Why did the Texans player go to the bank? To check if his paycheck bounced!
42. What’s the difference between the Texans and a penny? A penny is worth something!
43. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to reach for the stars (or at least a winning record)!
44. What do you call a Texans player with a Pro Bowl appearance? Exceedingly rare!
45. Why did the Texans player bring a spoon to the game? Because he heard they were serving up losses!
46. Why did the Texans player go to the bank? To withdraw their hopes for a Super Bowl!
47. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he thought it would elevate their performance!
48. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to climb out of mediocrity!
49. What do you call a Texans player with a touchdown catch? Shocked!
50. Why did the Texans player bring a spoon to the game? Because he heard they were serving up disappointments!
51. Why did the Texans player go to the bank? To check their account for any signs of a successful season!
52. What’s the difference between the Texans and a penny? A penny has more worth!
53. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to climb the ladder of success!
54. What do you call a Texans player with a Pro Bowl appearance? A rarity!
55. Why did the Texans player bring a spoon to the game? Because he heard they were serving up turnovers!
56. Why did the Texans player go to the bank? To withdraw their hopes for a winning record!
57. What’s the difference between the Texans and a penny? A penny is still considered valuable!
58. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to climb to the top of the AFC!
59. What do you call a Texans player with a Pro Bowl appearance? A statistical anomaly!
60. Why did the Texans player bring a spoon to the game? Because he heard they were serving up fumbles!
61. Why did the Texans player go to the bank? To deposit their dreams of a championship!
62. What do you call a Texans player with a Pro Bowl appearance? An exception!
63. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to escape the shadow of their past failures!
64. What do you call a Texans player with a touchdown? A rare sight!
65. What’s the difference between the Texans and a penny? A penny is worth more!
66. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he thought it was a step towards success!
67. What do you call a Texans player with a touchdown? Overjoyed!
68. Why did the Texans player bring a spoon to the game? Because he heard they were serving up defeats!
69. Why did the Texans player go to the bank? To make a withdrawal from their win column!
70. Why did the Texans player go to the bank? To check if his salary was still intact!
71. Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to climb out of the basement!
72. What do you call a Texans player with a Pro Bowl appearance? A rare sight!
73. Why did the Texans player bring a spoon to the game? Because he heard they were serving up mistakes!
74. Why did the Texans player go to the bank? To cash in on their potential!
75. Why did the Texans player go to the bank? To check if their funds were enough to buy a new playbook!
