Hey there, folks! Are you in the mood for a good ol’ belly laugh? Well then, this one’s definitely for you! Now, whether you’re an avid scholar with a degree from one of those Ivy League schools or just someone who dreams of attending one someday, this article is bound to tickle your funny bone. So without further ado, get ready to feast on 75 sidesplitting jokes about these elite institutions that will either make you feel like Einstein or Homer Simpson depending on how well-versed you are in their ways.
So put your feet up and grab yourself some Starbucks (apologies to Dunkin’ fans), as we dive into the witty world of academia together!
List of Jokes About Ivy League Schools
1. Why did the Harvard graduate bring a ladder to the bar exam? Because they heard the questions were over their head!
2. What did the Yale student say when they finally found a parking spot? “I just hit the lottery!”
3. How many Princeton students does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but they’ll pay someone else to do it!
4. Why did the Dartmouth student bring a spoon to their job interview? They wanted to show they could handle the “silver” spoon!
5. What did the Columbia professor say to their students during the heatwave? “I hope you’re all enjoying the Ivy League of sweat!”
6. How do you make a Brown student smile? Tell them a joke about Harvard!
7. Why did the Cornell student become a magician? They wanted to make their tuition disappear!
8. What do you call a group of Penn students? A Wharton of knowledge!
9. How did the Princeton student win the marathon? By running from the library to the dining hall!
10. Why did the Yale student get kicked out of the library? They refused to be quiet and insisted on shouting “Bulldog!”
11. What’s the difference between a Harvard student and a cat? One purrs when they’re happy, and the other is a pet!
12. How many Brown students does it take to change a light bulb? None. They embrace the darkness!
13. Why did the Dartmouth student bring a pencil to the party? They wanted to take “notes” on everyone!
14. What did the Penn student majoring in business say when they got a job offer? “I’m ready to make some Wharton it!”
15. Why did the Columbia student bring a ladder to the football game? They wanted to see over the crowd of intellectuals!
16. How did the Cornell student feel when they got accepted into an Ivy League school? Cornell-ated!
17. What do you call a Harvard student who loses their diploma? Most people would still call them “doctor”!
18. Why did the Princeton student become a chef? They wanted to learn how to make Ivy League “courses”!
19. What’s the difference between a Yale student and a snowman? One melts in the sun, and the other attends class!
20. Why did the Brown student bring a baseball bat to the art museum? They wanted to improve their “swing” at appreciating abstract art!
21. How do you confuse a Dartmouth student? Ask them to spell “beer” without using the letter “E”!
22. What did the Columbia student say when they saw a squirrel on campus? “Look, it’s a classmate with a fluffy tail!”
23. Why did the Harvard student bring a ladder to the concert? They wanted to be closer to the “upper” class!
24. How did the Penn student become a billionaire? They invented a way to turn student loans into gold!
25. What’s the difference between a Cornell student and a bicycle? A bicycle has two wheels, and a Cornell student has too many!
26. Why did the Yale student bring a ladder to the gym? They wanted to reach new “heights” during their workout!
27. How do you spot a Princeton student at a party? They’re the ones asking, “Is this organic?”
28. What did the Brown student say when asked about their study habits? “I’m more of a ‘study in bed’ kind of person!”
29. Why did the Dartmouth student bring a ladder to the movie theater? They wanted the best “viewing” experience!
30. How do you make a Columbia student laugh? Tell them a joke about NYU!
31. What’s the difference between a Penn student and a parrot? One squawks and repeats everything, and the other is a bird!
32. Why did the Harvard student become a chef? They wanted to master the art of “egg-cellence”!
33. How did the Yale student feel after winning the lottery? “Finally, I can afford my second home!”
34. What do you call a Princeton student who can play the guitar? A “strumming” genius!
35. Why did the Cornell student bring a ladder to the party? They wanted to reach the “high” notes!
36. How do you confuse a Brown student? Tell them the library is giving away free textbooks!
37. What’s the difference between a Dartmouth student and a snowstorm? A snowstorm stops after a few days!
38. Why did the Columbia student bring a ladder to the dance party? They wanted to take their dance moves to new “heights”!
39. How did the Penn student feel after their last final exam? “I’m officially on vacation! Wharton it up!”
40. What do you call a Harvard student who can’t swim? A genius in “deep” water!
41. Why did the Princeton student bring a ladder to the beach? They wanted to reach the highest level of relaxation!
42. How do you spot a Yale student at a football game? They’re the ones discussing philosophy instead of watching the game!
43. What did the Cornell student say when asked about their love life? “I’m just waiting for the right stem to come along!”
44. Why did the Dartmouth student bring a ladder to the park? They wanted to be the “tree”mendous observer of nature!
45. How did the Columbia student feel after acing their final exam? They were “Lion”-ized by their success!
46. What’s the difference between a Brown student and a couch potato? One sits around all day, and the other is productive!
47. Why did the Harvard student bring a ladder to the theater? They wanted the best “view” of the actors’ talent!
48. How do you make a Dartmouth student smile? Tell them a joke about their rival school!
49. What did the Penn student say when they won the lottery? “I guess the Wharton gods smiled upon me!”
50. Why did the Princeton student bring a ladder to the zoo? They wanted to climb to the top of the “food chain”!
51. How do you confuse a Cornell student? Tell them the library is closing early!
52. What’s the difference between a Yale student and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family!
53. Why did the Brown student bring a ladder to the music festival? They wanted to “rise” above the crowd!
54. How did the Columbia student feel after graduating? They were “Roar”-ing with pride!
55. What do you call a Harvard student who can’t ride a bike? Intellectually unbalanced!
56. Why did the Dartmouth student bring a ladder to the beach? They wanted to “ascend” to beachy perfection!
57. How do you spot a Penn student at a party? They’re the ones talking about investments and stocks!
58. What did the Yale student say when asked about their summer plans? “I’m going on an intellectual adventure!”
59. Why did the Cornell student bring a ladder to the concert? They wanted a “heightened” musical experience!
60. How do you confuse a Princeton student? Tell them the library is out of books!
61. What’s the difference between a Columbia student and a lightbulb? A lightbulb is brighter!
62. Why did the Brown student bring a ladder to the bookstore? They wanted to “climb” the bestsellers list!
63. How did the Harvard student feel after acing their final exam? “I’m officially the “head” of the class!”
64. What do you call a Dartmouth student who can’t swim? A dry “adventure” enthusiast!
65. Why did the Penn student bring a ladder to the picnic? They wanted the best “elevated” view of the sandwiches!
66. How do you spot a Cornell student at a party? They’re the ones carrying a backpack full of textbooks!
67. What did the Yale student say when asked about their favorite subject? “Everything is my favorite subject!”
68. Why did the Princeton student bring a ladder to the mall? They wanted to “rise” above the shoppers!
69. How did the Columbia student feel after getting accepted into their dream program? They were “Lion”-hearted!
70. What’s the difference between a Brown student and a squirrel? One collects acorns, and the other collects knowledge!
71. Why did the Harvard student bring a ladder to the grocery store? They wanted to “climb” to the highest-quality produce!
72. How do you make a Dartmouth student laugh? Tell them a joke about their intense outdoor adventures!
73. What did the Penn student say when asked about their future plans? “I’m going to conquer the business world!”
74. Why did the Cornell student bring a ladder to the football game? They wanted to get a “step” ahead of the competition!
75. How do you spot a Yale student at a party? They’re the ones discussing literature while sipping on a fancy cocktail!
