Hey there, baseball fan! Are you the type to get a good chuckle out of umpire jokes? Well then, have I got a treat for you! This article is jam-packed with 75 hysterical jokes that poke fun at those beloved (and sometimes not-so-beloved) officials of America’s favorite pastime.
We’re talking classic one-liners like “I never argue with an umpire; they’re always right” and more off-the-wall quips such as “Why did the Umpire wear sunglasses? Because he wanted to keep his eyes peeled.” There’s something here for everyone – even if you don’t consider yourself much of a jokester.
List of Jokes About Umpires
1. Why did the umpire bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to reach new heights in making questionable calls!
2. What did the umpire say when he got a job at the bakery? “I’ll be the best batter-cake caller in town!”
3. Why did the umpire bring a plunger to the game? Because he wanted to make sure all his calls were flush!
4. How did the umpire react when he saw a squirrel on the field? He called it a “nutty play”!
5. Why did the umpire start a gardening business? Because he loved making “foul” calls!
6. What did the umpire say when he won the lottery? “I’m going to retire and become a full-time ball caller!”
7. Why did the umpire bring a broom to the game? Because he was ready to sweep away any doubts about his calls!
8. How did the umpire feel after a long day of making calls? He was “tired but fair”!
9. Why did the umpire become a chef? Because he wanted to serve up some hot “plate” calls!
10. What did the umpire say when asked about his favorite music genre? “I’m a fan of heavy metal, especially when it comes to banging my strikeout calls!”
11. Why did the umpire bring a ruler to the game? Because he wanted to measure up to the players’ expectations!
12. How did the umpire feel after a controversial call? He was on “pins and needles”!
13. Why did the umpire become a barber? Because he loved giving players a close shave on their calls!
14. What did the umpire say when he met a famous comedian? “I guess we both know a thing or two about funny calls!”
15. Why did the umpire become a tailor? Because he enjoyed stitching together his strike calls!
16. How did the umpire feel when he made a mistake? He was “deflated”!
17. Why did the umpire start a singing career? Because he wanted to hit all the right notes with his calls!
18. What did the umpire say when asked about his favorite book? “I’m a big fan of ‘Call of the Wild’!”
19. Why did the umpire become a painter? Because he wanted to brush off any doubts about his calls!
20. How did the umpire react when he saw a clown in the crowd? He called it a “circus play”!
21. Why did the umpire start a construction business? Because he wanted to build a reputation for making solid calls!
22. What did the umpire say when he went on a diet? “I’m cutting down on balls and strikes!”
23. Why did the umpire become a magician? Because he could make the right calls “disappear”!
24. How did the umpire feel after a game-winning call? He was “ecstatic”!
25. Why did the umpire start a comedy club? Because he loved making everyone laugh with his calls!
26. What did the umpire say when he saw a hot dog vendor? “I’ll take one ‘bun’ call, please!”
27. Why did the umpire become a detective? Because he loved solving the mysteries of each play!
28. How did the umpire feel when he had to eject a player? He was “firm but fair”!
29. Why did the umpire become a weatherman? Because he enjoyed making accurate calls on rain delays!
30. What did the umpire say when he met a famous artist? “We both know the importance of making bold ‘strike’-tures!”
31. Why did the umpire become a pilot? Because he wanted to take his calls to new heights!
32. How did the umpire feel after a controversial call was overturned? He was “relieved”!
33. Why did the umpire start a dance studio? Because he could always move to the right spot to make his calls!
34. What did the umpire say when he went on vacation? “I’m taking some time off from all these fair and foul calls!”
35. Why did the umpire become a fisherman? Because he enjoyed making “catch” calls!
36. How did the umpire feel when he had to make a call during a solar eclipse? He was in “total darkness”!
37. Why did the umpire start a music band? Because he wanted to call all the right “tunes”!
38. What did the umpire say when he met a famous chef? “We both know the importance of getting the recipe for a good call right!”
39. Why did the umpire become a tailor? Because he knew how to “sew” up the game with his calls!
40. How did the umpire feel when he made a game-deciding call? He was “on top of the world”!
41. Why did the umpire become a poet? Because he had a way with calling balls and strikes!
42. What did the umpire say when he saw a squirrel steal a player’s glove? “Looks like the squirrel wanted a ‘catcher’s mitt’ of its own!”
43. Why did the umpire become an architect? Because he loved designing the perfect strike zone!
44. How did the umpire feel after a game with no controversial calls? He was “unusually calm”!
45. Why did the umpire start a fitness blog? Because he knew the importance of staying in “call shape”!
46. What did the umpire say when he met a famous scientist? “We both know the value of making precise calls!”
47. Why did the umpire become a firefighter? Because he knew how to put out any heated arguments about his calls!
48. How did the umpire feel after a game with perfect calls? He was “on cloud nine”!
49. Why did the umpire become an archaeologist? Because he loved digging up the right calls from the past!
50. What did the umpire say when he met a famous lawyer? “We both know the importance of making a strong ‘case’ for our calls!”
51. Why did the umpire become a fashion designer? Because he knew how to make the perfect “strike”ing outfit!
52. How did the umpire feel after a game with multiple ejections? He was “armed and dangerous”!
53. Why did the umpire become a mathematician? Because he knew how to calculate the right calls!
54. What did the umpire say when he met a famous actor? “We both know the importance of delivering a convincing performance with our calls!”
55. Why did the umpire become a zookeeper? Because he enjoyed calling the “wild pitches”!
56. How did the umpire feel when he made a call that went viral? He was “trending”!
57. Why did the umpire become a motivational speaker? Because he knew how to inspire players with his calls!
58. What did the umpire say when he met a famous musician? “We both know the importance of hitting the right ‘note’ with our calls!”
59. Why did the umpire become a travel agent? Because he loved going to different ballparks and making his calls!
60. How did the umpire feel after a game with no ejections? He was “mild-mannered”!
61. Why did the umpire become a fortune teller? Because he knew how to predict the outcome of each play!
62. What did the umpire say when he met a famous author? “We both know the power of a well-written call!”
63. Why did the umpire become a mechanic? Because he knew how to “fix” any doubts about his calls!
64. How did the umpire feel when he made a call that changed the game? He was “game-changer”!
65. Why did the umpire become a psychologist? Because he knew how to read players’ reactions and make accurate calls!
66. What did the umpire say when he met a famous dancer? “We both know the importance of graceful calls!”
67. Why did the umpire become a farmer? Because he knew how to “harvest” the right calls!
68. How did the umpire feel after a game with no controversial calls? He was “smooth sailing”!
69. Why did the umpire become a teacher? Because he wanted to educate players on his calls!
70. What did the umpire say when he met a famous comedian? “We both know the importance of a well-timed call!”
71. Why did the umpire become a mechanic? Because he knew how to keep the game running smoothly with his calls!
72. How did the umpire feel when he made a call that broke a record? He was a “record-setter”!
73. Why did the umpire become an astronaut? Because he wanted to make his calls from outer space!
74. What did the umpire say when he met a famous singer? “We both know the power of hitting the right ‘pitch’ with our calls!”
75. Why did the umpire become a lifeguard? Because he knew how to make the “safe” calls!
