Are you a fan of getting your hands dirty in the garden? Do you love nothing more than spending time surrounded by lush greenery? If so, then boy do I have a treat for you! I’ve scoured the internet to bring you 75 gut-busting gardening jokes that will have both you and your plants laughing out loud.
From clever quips about soil to witty one-liners about weeds, this article is chock-full of horticultural humor that is sure to “grow” on you. Whether you’re an expert gardener or just dipping your toes into the world of botanical bliss, these jokes are guaranteed to make your day brighter and put a smile on your face.
So sit back, relax with a piping hot cuppa tea (or coffee if that’s more your style), and get ready for some side-splitting laughs as we explore puns about pruning, chuckles about mulching, and everything in between.
List of Jokes About Gardening
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. What do you call a grumpy gardener? A sour-crop.
3. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
4. How do trees get on the internet? They log in!
5. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
6. Why did the gardener always carry a ladder? Because he heard plants love high C’s!
7. What do you call a plant that dances? A salsa!
8. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
9. How do plants greet each other? With a high-fiber handshake!
10. Why did the gardener bring a ladder to the garden? To reach the high notes!
11. Why did the gardener plant light bulbs? Because he wanted to grow power plants!
12. What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
13. How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste!
14. Why don’t plants like math? Because it gives them square roots!
15. What did the flower say to the bee? “Buzz off, I’m pollinating!”
16. How do you catch a squirrel in the garden? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
17. Why did the gardener always carry a pen and paper? He liked to take notes in the margins!
18. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.
19. What did one flower say to the other flower? “Hi, bud!”
20. How does a tree get online? It logs in!
21. What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw-berries!
22. What’s a plant’s favorite type of music? Rock and soil!
23. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry!
24. Why do plants hate math? Because it gives them square roots!
25. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? “Where’s popcorn?”
26. Why did the gardener always carry a ladder? To reach the top of the line!
27. What did one flower say to the other flower during a storm? “Hang on, bud!”
28. Why did the gardener bring a ladder to the garden? Because he heard the flowers needed some high notes!
29. What’s a flower’s favorite type of candy? Lollipoppies!
30. How do plants settle their differences? They find common ground.
31. Why don’t plants ever ride bicycles? Because they’re afraid of losing their balance!
32. What do you call a gardening tool that’s always sleeping? A bed-rake!
33. Why do gardeners always carry a notebook? Because they like to take notes in the margins!
34. What did the flower say to the bee? “Bee-lieve in yourself!”
35. How do plants communicate? They use the grape-vine!
36. What’s a gardener’s favorite type of music? Rock and mulch!
37. Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing!
38. What kind of flower never gets invited to a party? A wallflower!
39. How did the gardener fix the hole in his pants? With cabbage patches!
40. Why was the baby ant confused in the garden? Because all its uncles were ants!
41. What did one flower say to the other flower during a storm? “I’m rooting for you!”
42. Why don’t trees like to wear green? They don’t want to be mistaken for plants!
43. What’s a scarecrow’s favorite type of clothing? Overalls!
44. Why did the gardener plant a seed in the mailbox? He wanted to grow postage stamps!
45. What do you get when you cross a tree and a pig? A pork-chop tree!
46. How does a gardener fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste!
47. Why do plants make terrible comedians? They always botany their jokes!
48. Why don’t plants gossip? Because they’re always rooting for each other!
49. Why did the gardener always carry a pen and paper? In case he needed to draw some roots!
50. What’s a plant’s favorite type of car? A blossombile!
51. Why don’t trees like to go to parties? They get too sappy!
52. What do you call a garden that’s gone crazy? A plant-tastic!
53. Why did the gardener always carry a ladder? Because he wanted to climb the beanstalk!
54. What do you get when you plant kisses? Tulips!
55. Why did the gardener bring a ladder to the garden? To reach the highest blooms!
56. What did one flower say to the other flower during a storm? “Stay rooted!”
57. Why did the gardener always carry a pen and paper? To draw some inspiration!
58. What’s a plant’s favorite type of music? Rapeseed!
59. How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
60. What’s a scarecrow’s favorite vegetable? Straw-pberries!
61. What’s a plant’s favorite type of TV show? The Thornberries!
62. Why did the gardener plant light bulbs? Because he wanted to brighten up the garden!
63. What did the flower say to the bee? “Bee-happy, bee-pollen!”
64. How do plants settle arguments? They leaf it to each other!
65. Why don’t plants ever ride bicycles? They can’t find the pedals!
66. What do you call a gardening tool that’s always late? A tardy vine!
67. Why did the gardener go to therapy? Because he had deep-rooted issues!
68. How do plants join the army? They enlist as pea-green recruits!
69. Why did the tomato turn yellow? Because it saw the banana split!
70. What do you call a plant that takes care of sick animals? Herb-inary nurse!
71. Why did the gardener bring a ladder to the garden? To help the flowers reach new heights!
72. How do trees get online to do their shopping? They log on to Amazon Forest!
73. Why did the scarecrow win the marathon? Because he was outstanding in his field and had great strides!
74. What did the gardener say to the bee that wanted to steal nectar? “Buzz off, that’s my honey!”
75. Why don’t plants ever pay their bills? They prefer to grow on credit!
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