The Top 75 Jokes About Crabs That Will Make You Claw-verly Happy

Hey there, ready to laugh your heart out? Well, get ready because I have got something that will make you go cray-cray with laughter! After spending hours surfing the internet for some of the most hilarious jokes about crabs ever told, I have finally compiled a list of the top 75. And let me tell you, these crustacean-themed puns and wordplays are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone!

Now, why crabs you ask? Oh boy, where do I start? These sea creatures with their little pinchers and wacky sideways walk already have us in splits. So why not add some crabby humor to the mix?

As someone who prides themselves on being an expert joke-teller (not bragging or anything), trust me when I say that these crabby jokes won’t disappoint. All set for a laughter marathon? Then settle down and brace yourself as we plunge into this epic list of side-splitting crustacean comedy!

List of Jokes About Crabs

 

jokes about crabs

 

1. Why did the crab never share its food? It was a little shellfish.
2. What do you call a crab who plays baseball? A pinch hitter.
3. How do crabs communicate? With claw-phones.
4. Why was the crab always invited to parties? It had great shell-ebration skills.
5. What’s a crab’s favorite subject in school? Clawculus.
6. Why don’t crabs donate to charity? They’re shellfish creatures.
7. What do crabs wear at the beach? Shell-tops and claw-thongs.
8. Why did the crab never lend money to other animals? It didn’t want to get clawed out.
9. What do you call a crab who likes to bowl? A pincher.
10. How do you know when a crab is angry? It uses its crabby patty.
11. Why was the crab embarrassed? It saw the seashells and wanted to hide.
12. What did the crab say to the shrimp? Stop being such a little shellfish.
13. How does a crab drink tea? It uses a seashell-teacup.
14. Why don’t crabs like sharing secrets? They’re afraid of being shell-exposed.
15. What do you call a crab with a top hat? Sophisticlawn.
16. Why did the crab never take up boxing? It was afraid of getting clawed.
17. How do crabs send messages? They use crabbygrams.
18. What’s a crab’s favorite TV show? “Claw and Order.”
19. Why did the crab never win a singing competition? It had a lousy shell-lection of songs.
20. What do you call a crab with a fancy car? A shell-ebrity.

jokes about crabs

 

21. How do crabs make decisions? They flip a shell.
22. Why did the crab get a job as a comedian? It had great claws for jokes.
23. What’s a crab’s favorite type of music? Rock and shell.
24. How do you make a crab smile? Take it to the beach and let it play in the sand.
25. Why did the crab go to school? To improve its claw-culation skills.
26. What do you call a crab that plays the piano? A crabaret pianist.
27. How do crabs tell time? With a shellular clock.
28. Why did the crab blush? It saw the ocean’s bottom.
29. What do crabs use to navigate underwater? Shell-phones.
30. Why was the crab always invited to parties? It had a great sense of shell-humor.
31. What did the crab say to the seashell? You’re so shell-fishy!
32. How do crabs celebrate birthdays? They have shell-abrations.
33. Why did the crab join a gym? It wanted to build some claw-some muscles.
34. What do you call a crab that likes to take risks? A dare-crab.
35. Why did the crab get a new car? Its old one was a little shell-apidated.
36. How do you make a crab stop biting? Pinch its nose.
37. What do you call a crab that can’t stop talking? A gabby crabby.
38. Why was the crab always the center of attention? It had a magnetic personality.
39. How do crabs stay fit? They do pinch-ercise.
40. What do you call a crab that plays the guitar? A strumming shellfish.

jokes about crabs

 

41. Why did the crab refuse to play cards with the shrimp? It didn’t want to get pinched.
42. How do crabs throw a party? They invite their claw-st friends.
43. What did the crab say to the seagull? Stop squawking, I’m trying to nap.
44. Why did the crab feel lonely? It couldn’t find a shell-mate.
45. How do crabs apologize? They say, “I’m really claw-sorry.”
46. What do crabs wear to weddings? Shell-tuxedos and claw-dresses.
47. Why did the crab become a teacher? It wanted to help students shell-ebrate success.
48. How do crabs keep track of their expenses? They use shell-accounts.
49. What’s a crab’s favorite card game? Poker, because it involves a lot of shell-bluffing.
50. Why did the crab refuse to share its treasure? It was shellfishly guarding its shell-doubloons.
51. How do crabs clean their homes? They use a shell-vacuum.
52. What’s a crab’s favorite exercise? Shell-ups.
53. Why did the crab fail the math test? It had trouble with shell-gebra.
54. How do crabs say “I love you”? They give claw-mantic gestures.
55. What do crabs wear in the rain? Shell-tercoats.
56. Why did the crab become a detective? It had a knack for shell-ebrity investigations.
57. How do crabs enter their homes? They use a shell-evator.
58. What do you call a crab with an attitude? Crabby-pants.
59. Why did the crab go to the therapist? It had some serious shell-esteem issues.
60. How do crabs relax? They take shell-fies.

jokes about crabs

 

61. What do crabs use to cut their hair? A claw-pers.
62. Why did the crab go to the bank? It needed to make a shell-deposit.
63. How do crabs stay organized? They use shell-endars.
64. What do crabs wear to sleep? Pajam-claws.
65. Why did the crab become an artist? It had a talent for shell-sketching.
66. How do crabs stay cool in hot weather? They go for a shell-a-bath.
67. What do crabs use to write letters? A shell-o pen.
68. Why was the crab jealous of the lobster? It wanted to be more shell-fishionable.
69. How do crabs start conversations? They break the ice with shell-greets.
70. What do you call a crab that can play multiple instruments? A multi-shell-talist.
71. Why did the crab fail the driving test? It couldn’t find the right gear with its claws.
72. How do crabs dance? They do the crab shuffle.
73. What’s a crab’s favorite dance move? The pinch and groove.
74. Why did the crab refuse to go to the party? It had a crabby-attitude problem.
75. How do crabs make music? They use shell-ophones.

 

 

Alex Haywood, Founder of Discover Jokes
About the author

I know how stressful life can be, and sometimes we just need to take a break and enjoy a moment of humor. That’s why I’ve dedicated myself to finding the best jokes, memes, and videos on the internet and bringing them to you all in one place.

Leave a Comment