Hey there, fellow humor enthusiasts! Have you ever found yourself chuckling at the antics of politicians? They can be pretty funny sometimes, right? But let’s face it, politics can also be a bit confusing and overwhelming. We often feel like we’re not “in on the joke.” Well, fear not! I’m here to help.
I’ve scoured far and wide to find the most laugh-out-loud jokes about politicians. And guess what? I’ve compiled a list of 75 of them just for you! Whether you’re young or old, these jokes are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and turn your frown upside down.
In this article, you’ll discover side-splitting jokes that will have you in stitches. Don’t worry if politics isn’t your thing; these witty quips are easy to understand even for those outside the political arena. Because at the end of the day, laughter is universal – no matter who we are or where we come from.
So why not join me on this hilarious journey through political humor? You won’t regret it! By the time we’re done here, you’ll have an impressive arsenal of rib-tickling one-liners that will make you everyone’s favorite party guest. Let’s dive in and get giggling – shall we?
List of Jokes about Politicians
1. Why did the politician break up with his girlfriend? He wanted someone with more constituents.
2. How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they’re too busy screwing the country.
3. Why did the politician go to the doctor? To get a campaign check-up!
4. Why did the politician refuse to take a DNA test? He didn’t want to find out he was related to Congress.
5. Why did the politician cross the road? To get to the other bribe.
6. Why did the politician go on a diet? He heard there was a lot of turnover in Congress.
7. What do you call a politician who tells the truth? Retired.
8. Why did the politician go to the bank? To get a loan, so he could buy another vote.
9. How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to screw it in and the other to screw the taxpayer.
10. What do you call a politician with a law degree? Unemployed.
11. Why did the politician refuse to debate on live television? He didn’t want to be seen lying.
12. What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter “F”.
13. Why did the politician go to the bookstore? To buy a coloring book, so he could stay within the lines.
14. What do you call a politician who is caught lying? A politician.
15. Why did the politician visit the doctor? He had a case of legislation.
16. What do you call a politician who can’t pay his bills? Qualified for Congress.
17. How do you get a politician to tell the truth? You don’t.
18. Why did the politician fall asleep during the budget meeting? He was dreaming of all the money he could pocket.
19. What do you call a politician who only works one day a year? Still overpaid.
20. Why did the politician go to the gym? To work on his filibuster muscles.
21. What’s the difference between a politician and a snake? One is a slimy, poisonous creature and the other is a snake.
22. Why did the politician go to the beach? To campaign with sand castles.
23. What do you call a politician who loses an election? A temporary employee.
24. Why did the politician go to the doctor? He had a case of lobbyist flu.
25. What do you call a politician who tells the truth? A whistleblower.
26. How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they prefer to keep the public in the dark.
27. Why did the politician go to the psychiatrist? He was suffering from a severe case of narcissism.
28. What do you call a politician who can’t spell? No different than the rest of them.
29. Why did the politician go to the airport? To wave goodbye to his integrity.
30. Why did the politician go to the dentist? To get his smile whitened, so he could blind the voters.
31. How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but it will take 10 others to approve the funding.
32. Why did the politician go to the mall? To shop for a new political stance.
33. What do you call a politician who can’t swim? Saved by the Coast Guard.
34. Why did the politician go to the farm? To talk to the cows, because they are the only ones who will listen.
35. How many politicians does it take to change a diaper? None, they prefer to be full of it.
36. Why did the politician go to the psychiatrist? He suffered from severe delusions of grandeur.
37. What do you call a politician who can’t dance? Still qualified for Congress.
38. Why did the politician visit the zoo? To learn how to play nice with animals.
39. What do you call a politician who can’t read? Still qualified for Congress.
40. Why did the politician go to the library? To check out books on how to filibuster.
41. What do you call a politician who doesn’t cheat? A myth.
42. Why did the politician go to the gym? To work out his bribe muscles.
43. What do you call a politician who can’t talk? Still qualified for Congress.
44. Why did the politician go to the pet store? To find a new campaign mascot.
45. How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they prefer to live in the dark.
46. Why did the politician go to the circus? To learn how to juggle multiple lies at once.
47. What do you call a politician who can’t balance a checkbook? Qualified for Congress.
48. Why did the politician go to the museum? To learn about ancient political scandals.
49. How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but it will take 100 others to approve the light bulb.
50. Why did the politician go to the theater? To watch a play about himself.
51. What do you call a politician who can’t sing? Qualified for Congress.
52. Why did the politician go to the carnival? To learn how to spin the truth.
53. How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it will take him 10 years to do it.
54. Why did the politician go to the fortune teller? To see if he had a future in politics.
55. What do you call a politician who always tells the truth? A unicorn.
56. Why did the politician go to the museum? To see the exhibit on flip-flopping.
57. How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they’re too busy pointing fingers at each other.
58. Why did the politician go to the amusement park? To learn how to ride the political roller coaster.
59. What do you call a politician who can’t write? Qualified for Congress.
60. Why did the politician go to the zoo? To see his fellow crooks in action.
61. How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they’re too busy trying to screw the country.
62. Why did the politician go to the spa? To relax after a long day of lying.
63. What do you call a politician who can’t cook? Qualified for Congress.
64. Why did the politician go to the aquarium? To learn how to swim with the sharks.
65. How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it will take him 20 years to do it.
66. Why did the politician go to the museum? To see the exhibit on flip-flopping.
67. What do you call a politician who always tells the truth? A unicorn.
68. Why did the politician go to the carnival? To learn how to spin the truth.
69. How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they’re too busy pointing fingers at each other.
70. Why did the politician go to the amusement park? To learn how to ride the political roller coaster.
71. What do you call a politician who can’t write? Qualified for Congress.
72. Why did the politician go to the zoo? To see his fellow crooks in action.
73. How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they’re too busy trying to screw the country.
74. Why did the politician go to the spa? To relax after a long day of lying.
75. What do you call a politician who can’t cook? Qualified for Congress.
